I'm probably nuts, and I also don't know if I just tag this post along with everything along with all my other posts. But here goes .....
As some of you know my X (who is a narcissist) and I have been divorced for 12 years now after a 43 year marriage. I couldn't take it anymore .... he was the King, and I was the servant.
I don't know how many of you will understand this, but maybe some .... I know we're legally divorced, but for me in the eyes of God there will always remain that covenant between us. I was scanning through some books the other night and found one which I believe is called "On The Mend" (not quite sure of that name), and I ordered 2, had one sent to me, and stepping out on a limb, had one sent to him. I wrote him a brief e-mail, telling him that I'd ordered a book for each of us to read and think about and maybe we could discuss the things we read and learned. I know very well the position this could put me in, unless he has changed somewhat. I know I'm not the person I was ..... I no longer will be walked on and treated like a slave girl. Whether or not he thinks about this and the things in the book I have no clue, but I had to try. Somehow 43 years, with 3 solid, responsible kids - all adults, just seemed like too much of our lives to just throw away.
I don't know what will happen .... with N's, you don't know .... they could put on a good face which isn't real, and possibly, by just some sliver of a chance he has changed enough to put up with the "new me" ..... vocal, sassy at times, I say what I think, and I don't allow myself to be walked on anymore ..... this is after 14 years of intense psychotherapy.
So, we'll see. All I could do was give it a shot .... if you don't try, the answer is always no.
abby