Hi smile, try with all your heart to put them in the back of your mind. Thinking of them makes them win and I know you don't want that. My sister-in-law broke my family apart to the point I never see my niece and nephews since 2003. Cruel to my mother. When my deceased brother met her my entire family warned him including my parents, friends. Comes from a very wealthy family, only child, thats a good picture of her. In order for them not to win push those painful thoughts away it will only make you feel worse. It works.