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~ Depressed and scared, not making it financially ~
Mental Health | Last Active: Mar 19, 2022 | Replies (428)Comment receiving replies
Hi everyone. Some of you know that about 3-4 years ago I moved from one state to another - about 4 hours away - to be closer to my daughters and their families. I was happy up there, I had my own condo, doctors, friends, church, and knew the town like the back of my hand. After 5 years of hounding me, I finally relented and moved down here ..... a big mistake. I see my girls once a week - I know I can't expect more as they have their own lives - live in a low-income apartment complex for reasons I won't go into now, and to say I hate living here. I've tried to find a job - for over 2 months, but at age 75 - well, as much as they say "you can't discriminate due to age", that's a lie. They can and they do. I'm healthy and enjoy working - part time would be best. I've been told to "volunteer" ..... this is going to sound awful, but if I'm going to work, I want to get paid for it. Money is extremely tight, and I am just making it, with a very tight budget. My girls are delighted I'm here, but I'm not. They know I'm sorry I moved, but speak about it not at all. They're not approachable about it .... they're just happy I'm here. I just cannot see myself living out the rest of my days living like this. The complex I'm .in has the typical low income problems ..... young girls being handcuffed and hauled off by the police, a known "drug building", totally disrespectful and foul mouthed kids - and I do mean kids .... some as young as 7 or 8, and some oddities which I won't go into. I never go out after dark - EVER. It's just not safe. So, I'm stuck. Due to money issues, there's no way I can move back to where I was (I lived there for 30 years), and to top it off my X-husband has a huge house only 15 miles down the road from me. I've been told I can reopen our case to receive alimony, but I know it would fracture my relationship with my 3 kids and I just can't do that. I did not ask for alimony when we divorced as I had a good bit of money, but then unknown to me, got caught up in a ponzi scheme which took over 3/4 of what I had. Truthfully, I just wish my time were up. This would be over, and as an Orthodox Christian, I believe I'd be in a better place. I see my therapist - in my old city - once a month ..... but you don't get much done in 50 min. a month.
Thanks for listening to an old lady gripe.
abby
Replies to "Hi everyone. Some of you know that about 3-4 years ago I moved from one state..."
Thanks Teresa .... I really need to find a job. Just today I got a nibble about a possible job at Chick-fil-a, at least til they find out how old I am. The .Bipolar 2 doesn't help either .... every day is different. Some days I have energy and get things done around here, and other days I don't want to get out of bed. I take meds. and see my Psychiatrist, who is excellent, but it's just something I have to learn to live with. I also drive back to see my therapist once a month, which is where I used to live.
abby
I feel bad for you that you keep going over the same unhappy thinking.
Until a paying job opens up might you at least consider some volunteer work? Getting out of the house and thinking about other people tends to be very helpful for all of us.
Will you try your best not to dismiss the idea of volunteering?
Perhaps make a list of places where you could enjoy spending some volunteer time. Sometimes just making a list can be a good thing, even if you choose not to act on it right away.
Hi, @amberpep - just wanted to let you know that I moved your update to this discussion you'd started previously, "~ Depressed and scared ~" so that all those who were talking with you before, like @crissdawn @georgette12 @parus @karen00 @dianrib @1mountaingirl86 @becsbuddy and others, would get your update and could chime in with their greetings and any input.
How are things with the Bipolar 2, @amberpep? Are you noticing any symptoms lately? Are you waiting on a response right now from Chick-Fil-A, or what is the current status on that potential job?
@amberpep oh, oh, oh, I bumped something and lost the whole message I had typed for you!
I’m so sorry that this move has been so difficult for you. Moving is never easy as you always have to start over! You might try a few things: find a local Council on Aging—they have counselors who can help with all sorts of things. Also, the Senior Center in your town will have resources. The one here has housing specialists who may have suggestions on alternative housing, especially if you don’t feel safe where you are. Check into Meals on Wheels—they do meals on a sliding scale ($5) and sometimes free. Your town or local churches probably have food banks/pantry which you can qualify for.
You son helps you: would he be willing to talk with your daughters? After all, you made the move to VA for them.
I really feel for you, moving is hard! I’ve moved 14-15 times in my marriage and it never got any easier! Let us know how it works out for you. Becky
so sorry about your situation. Wishing you better time as well as part time job may take your mind off some of your problems.
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I am sorry that happiness continues to elude you @amberpep. While you say you don't want to volunteer, might it still be a good idea? Or at least worth a try?
Bringing a little cheer into someone else's life can have a positive effect on your own mood. Could you consider calling a nearby church or nursing home to see about making some visits on shut-ins? Your public library might have a need for someone to read to children.
Just give it some thought, will you? It might help to get your mind off of you own unhappiness for even one hour a week.