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@contentandwell
I was thinking how hard it would be to meet or even talk.
Deaths are awful to deal with. I’m having a hard time now. My closest dearest friend had a heart attack Sunday and passed away. What makes it even more upsetting is Sunday was my birthday. I am named as her trustee. I care for my Mom and can’t leave her alone and I live 200 miles away. I feel if I don’t do all that is asked of me I am betraying her trust. I’m also now the trustee of her handicapped sons Special Needs Trust. Her niece who is willing to take on this responsibility and is a wonderful person, totally trustworthy. What to do???
Jake
Replies to "@contentandwell I was thinking how hard it would be to meet or even talk. Deaths are..."
@jakedduck1 1st my heartfelt condolences to both you and your friend and her family. You're right, death is a difficult situation to be in and to have accepted some legal responsibilities from her to you and you to her seems to compound the emotions. Remember that even though you are your mother's caretaker, you also deserve to have some time some respite time just for you, at the very least to be the most effective caregiver you can be. As lioness said there are organizations that will offer this respite care. It seems like you might need that 200-mile trip to have closure on what has happened to your friend and also to communicate as far as being a trustee for a Special Needs Trust. It's very important that everything is taken care of and to do that in the best way sometimes you physically have to be present.
Ginger
@jakedduck1 I am very sorry about the passing of a dear friend. It is never easy to lose a loved one.
I think you have some very good suggestions here. I am sure that you could find some respite care for your mother. If not then you will need to pass the responsibility on to your friend's niece.
JK
@jakedduck1 - I also wanted to say how sorry I am to hear that your closest friend had a heart attack and passed away Sunday, even more so with that day being your birthday. It's very understandable you'd be having a hard time. Thinking of you, Jake.
@jakedduck1
Hi Jake,
I am so sorry to hear about your friend's death. How very sad that it occurred on your birthday. If the trust allows you to appoint a new trustee, you can certainly do that. However, if you feel compelled to carry through on your own a lot can be done with an attorney following up and advising you by phone or electronically.
I also would encourage you to get some assistance for your mom. It's important that she allows other people to assist her and this might be the perfect opportunity to get that process started.
Keep in touch and post again and let us know how you are doing with this process.
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@jake. I'm deeply sorry for the loss of your best friend. Sometimes we make promises that are impossible to keep. I think that this might be one of those times. If you don't want to delegate then I would take @lioness's suggestions.
Again, my condolences.