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aliali (@aliali)

I badly need your help!! Father refusing to drink water

Caregivers | Last Active: Mar 1, 2019 | Replies (22)

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Hi @aliali I am Scott and I am sorry to read of your dad's health challenges. I was my wife's primary caregiver for many years and understand how challenging and upsetting it can be when our loved one/patient doesn't follow directions. Especially true when it is for their own good.

In my wife's case, more often than not, she would reject my suggestions, but when the doctor ordered it, she finally listened. At one point her doctor told her if she didn't follow his directions he would not be her doctor any longer.

Another thing with my wife was over the course of her illness her tastebuds frequently changed and what was once a pleasurable food became intollerable. Things she enjoyed her whole life became enemies on her plate so I kept trying differet foods and finally ended fixing very bland, plain foods for her. We ended up eating exactly the same meals for years!

As far as hydration, I ran the gamut of water, tea, coffee, crystal lite, herbal teas, ice tea, soda water, and more!

Another thing that I remember was tough for me as a caregiver was realizing (and remembering) I could not control my wife's actions and reactions. I could suggest, coax, etc., but if she really resisted I had to let her follow herself and when things became uncomfortable enough she would usually come around to what had been suggested for her. I had to carefully pick my fights and invest my energy in only the most important.

Each patient and each caregiver is different, but I offer our experiences here for your consideration.

Strength, courage, and peace!

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Replies to "Hi @aliali I am Scott and I am sorry to read of your dad's health challenges...."

My first thought on your heartfelt request is "how do we deal with stubborn people — people who are stubborn to their own detriment?" Boy I am suffering with that right now and although I'm very patient, I find that very very hard now. So, let me restate what Scott said, and what I always said to my kids (isn't this just another kid?). Pick your battles and invest your energy in only the most important!!