Hearing loss: How do you identify yourself to others?

Posted by linkeellis @linkeellis, Feb 7, 2019

As a long time member of the hearing loss group, and part of the entire dDeaf community, I find that many people have very definite ideas as to how they identify themselves: deaf, Deaf, hearing impaired, hard of hearing, stone deaf, can't hear really well or some other term. I find myself changing my self-identification based on whom I'm talking. If it's a culturally capital "D" Deaf person, I say I'm hard of hearing; to hearing people, I say I'm hearing impaired or oral deaf (because they know what that means: I speak); and to my hearing loss peers, I say I'm deaf (because I am). It's a constant dance when I'm around Deaf people. The ASL community has many issues with deaf people who communicate orally and believe everyone should sign. But that's not how many people come into the hearing loss andor deaf world. I'm curious to know what others do. There is no right or wrong here.

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Hearing Loss Support Group.

@dollyh

I am also heading to purchase another set of HAs. Just had a hearing test at Starkey’s home office in Eden Prairie,MN. It was so thorough. Tuned them up, cleaned, and counseled about use of the product. Glad I did it. I’m also a proactive with my hearing loss. Would love to hearing what aids you lie. Thanks for posting.

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Curious to know if the Starkey audiologists included information about the value of telecoils in hearing aids. If not, make sure you tell them! I spend my summers in north central Minnesota, where most whom I meet that have hearing aids, have Starkey aids. Very few of them know what telecoils are, much less what they can do. Starkey makes a qualtfy product, but hearing aids without telecoils are like automobiles without air conditioning. You don't need it all the time, but when you do you don't want to be without it! I've had great success with Widex.

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@linkeellis Disclosure is a really interesting question. For a while, I said I was "hearing impaired." But then a few members of the Deaf community told me I had to refer to myself as "hard of hearing," so I switched to HOH. I then did a research project on how people tell others about their hearing loss, which helped me think through other ways to disclose. Now, I try to say something like, "I wear hearing aids, can you look at me when you're speaking?" I found it is easier when I give people something they can do to help me hear them better, otherwise they just stare at me blankly. I am unable to attach the link to the paper, but you can search for the title: "Revealing Hearing Loss: A Survey of How People Verbally Disclose Their Hearing Loss"

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@briguy

When it's necessary, I usually say I'm "hard of hearing" or just "I don't hear very well sometimes." I used to say "hearing impaired" but have tried to get in the habit of using the "preferred" term, although it doesn't hold much more appeal for me. (I've read articles that say "hearing impaired" is "almost universally resented" by those to whom it is applied, so I try to respect that even though it doesn't matter to me personally. I believe language matters, but the terms seem mostly neutral and whatever word is used isn't going to change the reality of my hearing loss. Also, as the OP suggested, "hearing impaired" seems to be more immediately meaningful to hearing people.) I cope with hearing aids and have tried to become better with speech-reading techniques. This has been a struggle, albeit a positive one, because I'm naturally introverted and have always had a problem with making eye contact. As I said, I don't mind the labels, but I do get sick of jokes and become quite annoyed when speakers in large gatherings say, "Is it OK if I don't use the microphone?"

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I have a hard time hearing- moderate to severe range and using the term hearing impaired is simple to understand. I feel though people are less patient with me as I am losing what few friends I have. Less people are patient due to technology advances. They rather interact with their devices rather then with peoplr. I rather be with books. Being active means I am out more then I would be otherwise

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@bookysue, I so support your comments. I get so irritated when people find my hearing loss humorous or when they get irritated when I ask them to repeat their words or ask them to face me when they talk. I often get so frustrated that I just mentally “check out” and don’t even attempt to participate in the conversations around me. Then some people assume I am stupid, totally deaf, or just aloof and rude. I turn down most invitations, and that results in even more isolation for me. I am currently shopping for new hearing aids for my severe hearing loss. I especially hate not being able to fully participate in the many conversations at family gatherings. Young people especially just do not understand.

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@capausz

@bookysue, I so support your comments. I get so irritated when people find my hearing loss humorous or when they get irritated when I ask them to repeat their words or ask them to face me when they talk. I often get so frustrated that I just mentally “check out” and don’t even attempt to participate in the conversations around me. Then some people assume I am stupid, totally deaf, or just aloof and rude. I turn down most invitations, and that results in even more isolation for me. I am currently shopping for new hearing aids for my severe hearing loss. I especially hate not being able to fully participate in the many conversations at family gatherings. Young people especially just do not understand.

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You get it- but supposedly being isolated is not good so I try to communicate by talking to folks while off riding a bike/ walking. I figure the Inteteraction is good at any level.
Curious- having a severe hearing loss- arn’t you a candidate for Cohlear- I am and I have a moderate to severe loss. I know it depends on what type / what causes it and whether born with a loss or late deafened. My doctor who is aware of who I am and I need/ want says I can hold off a year. I love music and Cohlear is not the greatest with that.

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I come from the hearing world, and most people would have no knowledge of my hearing loss. I was just hard of hearing, or not don’t hear too well. Since my hearing loss is worse now, I find that I do not communicate or even actively persue a friendship because my hearing loss is so profound. I was always a huge people person, but no longer. So if I communicate with people outside of my family, I tell them I have a severe hearing loss.

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@reallyrosie

I find myself saying "I can't hear you" because normally that's what happens...people speak before ever being introduced. It makes the other person flustered.. repeating or shouting. So then I explain I'm deaf ....and get this sick smile look of pity sorry glance away. Sigh. I want to grab this speaker and say "hey I really would like to engage with you in conversation" but it's his or my next on line in the supermarket or where ever...and that's the end of that attempt to break thru social isolation.

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I know exactly what you mean. I am right here with you.

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@jswest

@linkeellis Disclosure is a really interesting question. For a while, I said I was "hearing impaired." But then a few members of the Deaf community told me I had to refer to myself as "hard of hearing," so I switched to HOH. I then did a research project on how people tell others about their hearing loss, which helped me think through other ways to disclose. Now, I try to say something like, "I wear hearing aids, can you look at me when you're speaking?" I found it is easier when I give people something they can do to help me hear them better, otherwise they just stare at me blankly. I am unable to attach the link to the paper, but you can search for the title: "Revealing Hearing Loss: A Survey of How People Verbally Disclose Their Hearing Loss"

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@jswest, such a great point about giving people something they can do. Many may not know what to do other than speaking louder.

You will be able to post links in a few days. There is a brief period where new members can't post links. We do this to deter spammers and keep the community safe. Clearly the link you wanted to post was not spam. Please allow me to post it for you.

- Revealing Hearing Loss: A Survey of How People Verbally Disclose Their Hearing Loss (abstract) https://journals.lww.com/ear-hearing/Abstract/2016/03000/Revealing_Hearing_Loss___A_Survey_of_How_People.8.aspx

Unfortunately the full paper is behind a paywall. Jessica are you able or permitted to upload the full text? You can upload PDF files to a message on Connect.

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@colleenyoung

@jswest, such a great point about giving people something they can do. Many may not know what to do other than speaking louder.

You will be able to post links in a few days. There is a brief period where new members can't post links. We do this to deter spammers and keep the community safe. Clearly the link you wanted to post was not spam. Please allow me to post it for you.

- Revealing Hearing Loss: A Survey of How People Verbally Disclose Their Hearing Loss (abstract) https://journals.lww.com/ear-hearing/Abstract/2016/03000/Revealing_Hearing_Loss___A_Survey_of_How_People.8.aspx

Unfortunately the full paper is behind a paywall. Jessica are you able or permitted to upload the full text? You can upload PDF files to a message on Connect.

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would love to read full paper on how people disclose their hearing loss. do i need to sign up to their site or can we do so another way?

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@wassy2019

would love to read full paper on how people disclose their hearing loss. do i need to sign up to their site or can we do so another way?

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@colleenyoung, thanks for sharing the link! @wassy2019, the article is attached here. I hope you find it interesting - let me know if you have any questions!

Shared files

West 2015_Revealing Hearing loss (West-2015_Revealing-Hearing-loss-1.pdf)

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