Hearing loss: How do you identify yourself to others?

One time, back when I had HA"s and they were not giving me a lot of benefit, I was pulled over for going 40 in a 30. I had no idea what the speed limit was, it was a 4 lane road. The police officer said something that I did not understand at first and then followed up with "from the look on your face, I can tell you didn't know". He asked me if I knew what the speed limit was on the road. The look on my face was because I didn't understand what he was saying :). I got off with a warning.

I am blessed to live in a community where there is a large deaf/hearing loss population.

When we moved here around 30 years ago, I (to best of my memory) had never had any interactions with a person who was deaf. And neither had our 2 sons, aged 5 and 7 at the time. One day they were riding their bikes on our deadend street, and they were upset because there was a girl (around their age) who was also riding her bike. They asked my why that girl didn't respond when they spoke to her as she rode past them. That gave me the opportunity to explain that she couldn't hear them, and I told them to wave to her and to speak to her when was facing them. Several days later, my 5 yr old said, "Mommy, deaf people are just like us. The only difference is that they can't hear."

Myself, I have taken several beginning ASL classes, however, the beginning level is not enough for me to be able to communicate with my deaf friends. I am fortunate that most are excellent lip readers.

@tulip you are lucky. I was arrested because they didn't believe my husband or myself that I couldn't walk a straight line in the middle of the night with a big flashlight in my eyes. They were pretty apologetic after taking me in and talking to me in a quiet well-lighted room. The fact that it was Christmas Eve made it worse. A warning is good!

Golly! Policeman put flashlight toward your eyes that was difficult With your hearing loss walk on straight line. That was wrong. Glad they apology you.

I find myself saying "I can't hear you" because normally that's what happens...people speak before ever being introduced. It makes the other person flustered.. repeating or shouting. So then I explain I'm deaf ....and get this sick smile look of pity sorry glance away. Sigh. I want to grab this speaker and say "hey I really would like to engage with you in conversation" but it's his or my next on line in the supermarket or where ever...and that's the end of that attempt to break thru social isolation.

i usually say i am 'almost deaf' - my hearing has declined significantly, so i don't say that i am "hard-of-hearing" (or say i am REAAAAALLY hard of hearing!)
> having something to read is my dream, but it is extremely rare that someone will transcribe a conversation ... end up being very *un-social*

I totally know what you mean - not hearing well makes one feel very left out in social situations sometimes when you can't hear subject matter of conversations clearly enough to participate in them. I have top-line hearing aids, but still a challenge in crowds or where there is background noise.

What sort of response do u get to that?

We should be able to come up with something that let's another person know that we do value the communication attempt. What s/he has to say is important to us so a little song and dance to help get the meaning across wouldn't be 'wrong'. It's just that these communications are so brief and the opportunities to have such encounter so rare that delivering a dissertation before kinda takes the spontainiety out of it.

I've been deaf for 70 years and still don't have an answer.

When it's necessary, I usually say I'm "hard of hearing" or just "I don't hear very well sometimes." I used to say "hearing impaired" but have tried to get in the habit of using the "preferred" term, although it doesn't hold much more appeal for me. (I've read articles that say "hearing impaired" is "almost universally resented" by those to whom it is applied, so I try to respect that even though it doesn't matter to me personally. I believe language matters, but the terms seem mostly neutral and whatever word is used isn't going to change the reality of my hearing loss. Also, as the OP suggested, "hearing impaired" seems to be more immediately meaningful to hearing people.) I cope with hearing aids and have tried to become better with speech-reading techniques. This has been a struggle, albeit a positive one, because I'm naturally introverted and have always had a problem with making eye contact. As I said, I don't mind the labels, but I do get sick of jokes and become quite annoyed when speakers in large gatherings say, "Is it OK if I don't use the microphone?"

Hi,
You have a great attitude towards your hearing loss and learning to cope with everyday situations. Depending on the situation, I also respond or act in different ways. I started losing high frequencies in late 30s and had a slow, gradual decline over the years to the point that now I wear 2 BTEs and am essentially “deaf” without the aids.
What works best for me is telling people that “I read lips, I need to look at you to hear”. This seems to get their attention rather than saying I’m “hearing impaired” which is a term I always hated.

The best tip I ever got was to repeat to someone talking to you what you heard rather than have them say the whole thing over again. For example, someone says we are going to the gobbledygook restaurant for lunch. You heard everything but the name of the restaurant so you would say to them...what restaurant are we going to? Another thing I do is, if I have a Doctors appointment and I know the waiting room is large, I give the desk a small sign to clip on to the chart that says “Please note..Patient has hearing loss...May not hear name called,” I have a sign on my car visor that says I am hearing impaired...local police gave them out years ago. I use a captioned landline and Innocaption on my cell so I can hear and read at the same time.

As you said, group gatherings or noisey places like restaurants will always be difficult. I use a listening app on my cell phone that’s helpful. We are all fatigued at days end from trying to understand so it’s good to take breaks from large groups and it’s okay to bow out of certain social functions because you know it won’t be enjoyable. And there are good hearing days and bad hearing days.

Hearing loss can be isolating so it is important to put yourself out there and try different things and situations and aways have a smile and good humor approach to people. Make them comfortable but let them know how to accommodate you. I always advocate for myself...practice over many years....and take each day to day situation as it comes. Sometimes I bluff in those very brief encounters like in a supermarket line. Today’s technology has come so far in the 40 years I have been wearing hearing aids so there is no excuse for shutting yourself away. Your hearing loss is not your fault or anyone else’s and there is no reason to hide it.
I see I am on my soapbox again so I will close and wish you all a good hearing day.

Regards from ImAllEars