@hgarm - I'm very sorry that you feel so depressed. I know depression very very well. It's the pits! One of the things that have helped me is bringing back all the horrible things and coming to terms with them. I had to accept certain things that were in my past and deal more realistically with the present. It takes a while, it can make you feel awful, but it's worth it.
Are you on any antidepressants? I takes Zoloft and Wellbutrin. They really have helped me. I'll most likely be on them for the rest of my life.
If you can get outside, take a walk. We have to push hard and force ourselves, but it can be done!