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Weary of Caregiving

Caregivers | Last Active: Feb 23, 2020 | Replies (62)

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@susan2018

I have the same reaction to that “we promised Dad” ad. I may have yelled at the tv a time or two myself. It is so wrong and manipulative. And anyone who asks a family member to promise something like that, either for themselves or another loved one, doesn’t understand the limits of caregiving or is just being selfish. I can’t imagine what it must have felt like to be fired like that. Here you were already trying to do all you could to take care of your wife, you know, being a good person, and how are you rewarded? By being fired. Geez. Anyway, you are doing good here, and I hope feeling some satisfaction, by letting caregivers let their hair down, in a safe setting and more anonymously than “complaining” to family or friends who can’t understsnd. Some days our personal resources run low and we need to tell someone. On other, better days, we can listen to someone else with compassionate understanding.

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Replies to "I have the same reaction to that “we promised Dad” ad. I may have yelled at..."

Good morning, @susan2018 It is really nice to know I'm not the only one who reacts to that advertisement the way I do! Sometimes, in some cases, keeping your loved one at home, no matter how much we may want it, it is simply impossible! They are selling snake oil in my mind!

Tnanks for the kind words and yes, I get find comfort and satisfaction here being able to listen to, visit with, and hopefully help out the Society of Caregivers 🙂 We are a unique bunch, with uncommon, but yet common, struggles, and challenges in the everyday with our patients.

Don't know if I told you my 'pillow' story, so I apologize if I have. For years I kept an old feather bedpillow on our sofa in the living room. Past its useful life, it was my 'bad day' frustration punching bag! On the really, really bad days (every caregiver knows their versioin of that day) I would quietly go into the living room and either cry into it so my wife couldn't hear me, or I would treat it to a good punching session to relieve the tension! It really helped, until one day when I was really at my wits's end and let it rip a bit too hard, tore the pillow, and ended up with a living room full of feathers everywhere! At first I was so mad, then realized how funny it actually was and couldn't stop laughing! I remember my wife asking me why I was laughing while I was using the vacuum!

For old times sake I still keep a pillow on the end of the sofa, but it is an old foam one now 🙂

Cheers!