Thank you for sharing your present health status and especially your feelings. Many of us have undergone medical procedures and felt similar to you. I know when we are in pain, the pain is an attention getter and keeps us from looking at an opportunity to get healed. I can identify with your depression and crying. I have empathy for you and also prayers. I know you are loved and it usually helps to discuss feelings, etc. with our loved ones. People like and want to help us when we are in distress. As a suggestion, you may want to obtain some second opinions from other Doctors that may help you. I hope you live in an area where you are able to have expert treatment. If so, this too will pass. It takes time for recovery. Please keep us informed to your recovery.