Hi Lisa ..... Well, when I was in weekly therapy, I knew about my Dad and the abuse ... oddly enough, one day while in the session, I just blurted some words out about it and I was totally shocked and embarrassed. It's as if my brain opened up, the remembrance came, and out of my mouth it came! I wanted to fall through the floor, although I knew he's heard that before from others.
This time that program brought back memories of a supervisor I had back in 1971. He traveled overseas occasionally for his work, and always brought me a fancy, expensive gift .... at the time I felt a bit uncomfortable, but just thought, "he's such a nice person, and this is just his way of thanking me." Well then, one fine day, when I was about to leave PA for MD, and was 7 mo. pregnant, the incident happened. Looking back at it now, I could throw up. How stupid I was not to realize .... thinking of it even now makes my stomach churn. He's dead now. He was about 20 years older than I was and my boss. I totally had put it way in the back of my brain file, until that show and then out it came. Oh Lord, it was awful. One of the gifts he gave me was a sterling silver pin from one of the Oriental Countries, which was blue on the front and carved into it was an Asian dancer ..... I won't go into it, but nothing was hidden. One day, when I ran into it at our house, pre divorce, I found it (never thinking it was part of the priming, I just didn't think I wanted anyone to find it in my drawer, I went outside in the woods to the big root of a tree sticking up from the ground, and hammered it flat. Then I threw it in the trash. I was so very dumb, and looking back now I believe this is part of my reason for hating men ... my Dad, my narcissist X, and my boss.
abby

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