Sorry, I made assumptions without knowing your circumstances. You have a lot on your plate. I realize you can't snap out of depression. Probably your kids assume that you are fine since you put on 'a happy face'. Once menopause hit, I was having a lot of trouble sleeping and so felt half dead all the time. I went to a women's health centre where they do hormonal testing and sleep like a baby now with their bio-identical hormone approach. That could be worth a try... Can your kids take on some of the 'grandma visiting' duties? That would give you a much needed break. Good luck!