@iwishiwasanon Here's my lengthy response. 😊

First, thank you for answering my questions quickly. I have some information about medical insurance from Healthcare.gov that I have pasted below.

Healthcare.gov: TODAY IS THE LAST DAY TO APPLY FOR INSURANCE FOR 2019!

“You can stay on a parent’s plan until you turn 26
Once you’re on a parent’s job-based plan, in most cases you can stay on it until you turn 26.

Generally, you can JOIN a parent’s plan and stay on until you turn 26 even if you:

Get married
Have or adopt a child
Start or leave school
Live in or out of your parent’s home
Aren’t claimed as a tax dependent
Turn down an offer of job-based coverage
If you’re covered by a parent’s job-based plan, your coverage usually ends when you turn 26. But check with the employer or plan. Some states and plans have different rules.

If you’re on a parent’s Marketplace plan, you can remain covered through December 31 of the year you turn 26 (or the age permitted in your state).”

You need to go to their website and enter your information to find out what you are eligible for in your state. Give them a call if you need help with understanding the information you receive on line. Help is out there, but you will have to do some research to find it, just as you found Mayo Connect. Check to see if you can continue to be covered on your parents insurance.

My grandson, Ronnie, is almost exactly your age. He has been experiencing emotional upheaval since he was about 14. He has been diagnosed with ADHD, OCD, and he takes medication for both. He still had outbursts of combative anger and impulsiveness. During one of his outbursts he threatened to kill himself with a butcher knife. He ended up in the mental hospital for 1 week.

Recently Ronnie’s behavior and control over his anger have improved. He'll be 18 in January, and has held a job for the last year. The job seemed to help him feel more self confident. At your age being in emotional upheaval is pretty much normal. Your hormones are raging and they can cause all kinds of feelings you will need to learn to deal with. In addition, being on the threshold of adulthood and the expectations and fear of an unknown future can be completely intimidating. Fearing your own emotional feelings can cause you to feel even more anxiety. We all have to learn to feel emotions without fear. Only if you have extremely violent emotions around hurting others do you need to seek immediate help.

When my son was your age, he suddenly became very secretive, depressed and I worried about suicide. I finally pressured him to talk to me by letting him know I was so worried about him hurting himself or others. His hands shook all the time, and he had started drinking (at school) and doing drugs. We had taken him to the doctor and there was no physical reason for his shaking hands. At 16 he finally told me he was gay and was being bullied and threatened at school. I was shocked, but I struggled to understand how he could “become” gay. He told me he was born that way, which I didn't understand at the time. (He's 48 yrs old now and has a PhD.) His hands stopped shaking after he came out to me. I took a college class on understanding homosexuality, which really helped me, and helped him because I could support him. I'm telling you this just in case LGBTQ issues are bothering you.

It's very hard in small rural towns to share your feelings about emotional issues due to the risk of the information getting out into the community. However, HIPAA laws prevent all medical personnel from sharing information about you unless you give them permission to. One thing I know is you must feel SAFE before you can share your feelings face to face (or here) with anyone. If possible, you need to find a counselor or a friend/family member with whom you can develop rapport and feel safe so you can share what's going on with you. As I said, you may just be experiencing normal teenage feelings, but since they are new to you, you need help learning how to deal with them and not fear the feelings. When I first began talking in counseling, I was so scared I thought I might faint. I made it through the first session and the counselor was very gentle and assuring with me. Now, at age 70 (tomorrow), I have been through about 25 years of therapy and now also take an antidepressant which has helped me tremendously. My life is good. I want you to discover that you will survive and thrive, but you must ask for help and learn to share with appropriate people.

I hope this is helpful for you. You must use your current doctor and talk to that person about what's going on with you emotionally. Your physician should be able to give you some guidance about what you can do to get help locally, or in one of the close cities. I lost my medical insurance 1 year before I was eligible for Medicare, and before the ACA was going into effect. Two days before the end of the year, my doctor found a lump in my breast. I was living in a town of 500 people in Missouri, and needed to go to a hospital in Kansas City for a biopsy. My doctor contacted the Women's Center at the closest hospital and they arranged to do a biopsy on the afternoon of New Year's Eve. They performed the biopsy and basic diagnosis that evening with 7 medical people staying until 8 pm to do it before my insurance ran out! I was amazed and extremely thankful that they did that just for me. The diagnosis was negative for cancer thankfully. I'm telling you this story to let you know there is help until the last minute on your current insurance.

Ask for 100% of what you want, and then be willing to negotiate to get the help you need. I hope this information and these stories are helpful to you. Let us know if there are ways we can help you further. Peace.