Facing Cancer Recurrence, PTSD & Acknowledging Mental Health

In 1987, I had surgery for cervical cancer. In 2008 it was malignant melanoma on my right forearm [a beautiful 32 Stitch scar is my daily reminder!]. Other skin cancers have been removed over the years. In 2017 I was diagnosed with MGUS and have been monitored every quarter until this year. This time my hematologist-oncologist decided to let me go for 6 months since labs were showing consistent readings. On July 10th the labs came back way out of range. My nephrologist [I have a rare kidney disease, too] and hematologist-oncologist had a telephone conference and I am now waiting for a PET CT scan. It was supposed to have been this past Tuesday but the machine broke down; I got the call while in my car on the way there. I did what any good person would do. Turned my car around and went and had a very good breakfast! It is now scheduled for this Friday 26th July. I have felt like I am treading in quicksand all week. No energy, no interest. My body is rebelling with a sinus infection again, I think in response. It doesn't help that next Tuesday I move 700 miles away. I already have a new hematologist-oncologist in the area of my new town. But I am scared and this will be another cancer recurrence if it has morphed into multiple myeloma. Thanks for listening.
Ginger

Good morning, @gingerw. I'm sorry that your test had to be postponed. I'm sure you are anxious to know the results and delays like this just increase anxiety. Praying for you and hoping for good news after the test on Friday. Hang in there, this too will pass!

In 1987, I had surgery for cervical cancer. In 2008 it was malignant melanoma on my right forearm [a beautiful 32 Stitch scar is my daily reminder!]. Other skin cancers have been removed over the years. In 2017 I was diagnosed with MGUS and have been monitored every quarter until this year. This time my hematologist-oncologist decided to let me go for 6 months since labs were showing consistent readings. On July 10th the labs came back way out of range. My nephrologist [I have a rare kidney disease, too] and hematologist-oncologist had a telephone conference and I am now waiting for a PET CT scan. It was supposed to have been this past Tuesday but the machine broke down; I got the call while in my car on the way there. I did what any good person would do. Turned my car around and went and had a very good breakfast! It is now scheduled for this Friday 26th July. I have felt like I am treading in quicksand all week. No energy, no interest. My body is rebelling with a sinus infection again, I think in response. It doesn't help that next Tuesday I move 700 miles away. I already have a new hematologist-oncologist in the area of my new town. But I am scared and this will be another cancer recurrence if it has morphed into multiple myeloma. Thanks for listening.
Ginger

@gingerw- My heart goes out to you. I know that dreaded feeling as I just went through it. You have been through so much Ginger, plowing through what stands in your way. I think that after your move you might want to forget unpacking a lot to rest. I know that you probably feel drained and that is prime time to pick up something else. Be careful please, if you will?

@merpreb @hopeful33250 Thank you both! The nice thing is I will be by myself so I can leave those boxes unpacked. My husband will come back down this way and be back with another load four weeks later. There will be no time clocks to punch or places to be, except for the DMV for license and plates for the car. I am looking forward to the peace and quiet. Will journal and Zentangle my way through this.
Ginger

@merpreb and to all of you beautiful women...I am going through my own medical issues and the possibility of Lupus, Thyroid Cancer and/or mouth cancer. My my doctor has gone away on vacation again like she normally does just about every other week and leaves for three weeks. In the meantime, I am sitting here going crazy just waiting to find out what else I have. I also live with a rare disease called stiff person syndrome that has many variants. I must be emotional because I am in tears, because no matter what - you all are very strong women and clearly are the definition of WARRIORS! You are all an inspiration to me. I lead a support group for those of us living with Stiff Person Syndrome, on Facebook since 2012. I had to stop working and retire in November 2011. When I found out that I had Stiff Person Syndrome, I just was in denial. It affected my job, I was told that my position from Court Operations Supervisor and Courtroom Deputy to our Magistrate Judge would need to go on to someone else who could be at work every day. I was not GIVING UP! I made a terrible choice and stopped taking all of my necessary medication and just needed one last good year. I only made it through six months. Our lives completely change. When I researched my illness....I could barely find anything on the web. which not many specialists are very familiar with this rare disabling condition. Shortly after I joined this support group I was asked to be a part of the Admin Team. I have only let my feelings out to the public just a few times. Other than that I am doing everything to the best of my ability to help all of our SPS patients and families. I am very close to my mother-in-law and my husband's family. My mother-in-law gives takes very good care of me. My Daddy passed last year due to Cancer. My mother-in-law also had cancer, My Grandpa and Grandma passed away from Cancer, along with one of my Aunties and an Uncle. I have another uncle who just found out he has stage 4 thyroid cancer. He is not well at al. It has been pretty rough seeing one member of our family after another pass due to this ugly disease. Yet, I stay strong and support, educate and Advocate for our group members. We have almost 2200 members; some are family and friends.

I apologize for going in circles, but I have been very sick and bedridden since the second week of this year. I tend to have bad nights like that. Today is one of them. Please pardon me for writing about one thing; then the other.

I wanted to be sure to tell you all that each of you are such an inspiration to me. I am so happy to have this opportunity to be a part of this social connect group. I love and appreciate how positive, caring and empathetic everyone is to one another. I am very fortunate to be surrounded by such a caring and compassionate group. My heart and prayers go out to all of you. I am honored to be in this group. I need to get healthier, so I can spend more time on the group. I shall definitely need to set up a deadline for each challenge I have on my list.

Please know that although I have not ever spoke with any of you, I am very happy I logged on, read your "true stories", and love to see the determination and fight and compassion you have for each other. May our Heavenly Father bless you and your families.

In 1987, I had surgery for cervical cancer. In 2008 it was malignant melanoma on my right forearm [a beautiful 32 Stitch scar is my daily reminder!]. Other skin cancers have been removed over the years. In 2017 I was diagnosed with MGUS and have been monitored every quarter until this year. This time my hematologist-oncologist decided to let me go for 6 months since labs were showing consistent readings. On July 10th the labs came back way out of range. My nephrologist [I have a rare kidney disease, too] and hematologist-oncologist had a telephone conference and I am now waiting for a PET CT scan. It was supposed to have been this past Tuesday but the machine broke down; I got the call while in my car on the way there. I did what any good person would do. Turned my car around and went and had a very good breakfast! It is now scheduled for this Friday 26th July. I have felt like I am treading in quicksand all week. No energy, no interest. My body is rebelling with a sinus infection again, I think in response. It doesn't help that next Tuesday I move 700 miles away. I already have a new hematologist-oncologist in the area of my new town. But I am scared and this will be another cancer recurrence if it has morphed into multiple myeloma. Thanks for listening.
Ginger