Facing Cancer Recurrence, PTSD & Acknowledging Mental Health

Very well said, Joan.

Wow, Merry, such deep thoughts. I'm sorry that your family didn't talk about dying. I was raised in an active Christian family and with grandparents who died when I was a teenager.. We knew that they believed in Jesus and so they went to Heaven when they died, which is a better place. The process leading up to death seems to be an unknown for most of us - dying in our sleep, or very slowly losing our ability to function, or anything in between.
There are a lot of books about death and dying, and also near death experiences - people whose bodies stopped then they were revived and had experiences to share. "Imagine Heaven" looks at hundreds of these experiences, and researchers who checked them out (such as woman who was "flying" outside the hospital and saw a shoe on a 3rd floor ledge - the interviewer found the shoe on the ledge, just as she described it). My understanding is that there is a lot more to our lives after our earthly existence ends. It's definitely worth checking out. Maybe checking it out will help dispel your fears. Keep asking questions! Blessings Wendy

Feel same way...wonder what is wrong with me?

@cctoo- Good morning- I'm so sorry that you are feeling lost. I have felt that way too. I think that I started to feel less lost when I realized that things might happen, a cancer recurrence, stock losses, more than one perfect day of sunshine a year...Your life now will include the chance of another recurrence. It is what it is, as the saying goes. Since I couldn't delay it or stop it's potential recurrence I felt that I had lost all power in my life, all control. It's a horrible feeling. In order for me to "go out and live my life" I had to accept that I most likely will continue to have recurrences and that I had to learn to live with that fact. How did I come to think like this - when I was sick of my not doing things that made my life better. It takes time. There is not anything wrong with you. You are doing fine, trying to readjust your mental life with your physical life. Please do pursue PTSD. I know that this is a very rough time, but you can get through this. Let me know how you do, please!

Just saw your post. Ia m two plus weeks out of surgery (lobectomy) for a cancerous small mass count in my right lung. Part of my training and work has benign mental health counseling and I find myself, relieved the doctors got all the cancer, yet in partial denial as well as fear that "they" will find a new cancer in my lung, or elsewhere. I have some support from my mentor in psychology and eh will be of help with positive thinking. However, there is a lurking fee that it will show up again. I am worried at an almost subconscious level--fear of the unknown--all the what ifs. Glad to see this part on the lung cancer site. Would appreciate hearing from others and will read your blog. Thank you.

@alamogal635 I am coming up on 5 years past my surgery for pancreatic cancer. As time passes, hope grows stronger and fear slowly decreases. But I don't think the fear of recurrence will ever go away completely. If cancer comes back, I will deal with it at that time. Meanwhile, I am going to celebrate and enjoy every day of life the good Lord gives me.

Thank you for your kind reply. I will do my best to put into practice what you are saying. I try and love and treasure each day as it comes. True you are right--it is in the Lord's hands and that is where one finds comfort. Congratulations on your 5 years past surgery for pancreatic cancer--that is marvelous. God bless and keep you.

@alamogal635- Good morning. I know just what you mean and how you are feeling. I spilled coffee on my laptop and m missing some letters. I've not been on much because of it, but I'm following everyone. Your uestions and uneasiness at this time are very normal as you adjust to your new life after major surgery. No one knows what will happen in the future. l also depression is very common after major surgery. Two weeks, or even three is very little time after lobectomy to feel "normal" I found that if I didn't get enough sleep, or if I was hungry or if I didn't exercise I was more so. Your feelings of denial come from the "why me" uestion. I think. It's not so much why me that yu were ill, but why me that I could die from this, and that this can come back and slap me in the face. Both are true, it's scary for sure. I would advise that you continue to talk to your counselor and just give yourself time. My heart is with you.

Thank you for your wise words. I think you are right. I will be talking by phone to my counselor today and look forward to "pouring my heart out." What you say makes sense. On top fo everything else, I have depression and take prozac for it. I guess it helps, but like you say this lobectomy is not a "normal" occurrence. It is early in the recovery time. Sorry you spilled coffee on your lap top. You wrote well despite it. Again, what you've written has really helped. Blessings to you and I will be reading a lot of these posts. Don't write as much as others right now. This however is a great site. I wish everyone all the good ness that we can glean from the others here.

@alamogal635- You re such sweetie. Have you considered changing antidepressants? I found that Prozac kind of numbed people, and my self rather than deal with depression. I had to change to Zoloft and wellbutrin. By the way I have said lobotomy more than once! lol.