@suz55 I liked your post to @am3. I had a good experience growing up on a farm in Iowa, but I married my love who would go with me and then break up with me and I loved him soooo much. He finally came to me and wanted to stay with me. We got married and 11 days after our marriage he was killed in a car accident at 20 years old and also another good friend was killed with him. It was so tragic for me at the time that I turned to alcohol, but not now. My mom committed suicide at 69 and I'm 68. We have a son who is Bipolar 1. We have mental illness through our family. It is very inherited. Our son is a professor, but cannot teach because of his Bipolar 1 and some of it is the way he was raised. His dad was pretty hard on him and I know his wife who is also a professor is one of the reasons we have no contact. I haven't seen my 8 year old granddaughter since she was 3, but skype with her at her other grandmother in Chicago. My son and family live in NY and his wife teaches at Columbia and does research. Both of them are too smart for their own good. I can't even Mail anything to Marlowe and have to send cards and gifts to her grandmother in Chicago then she forwards them to Marlowe. It's something else and I just pray. All is in the past and I have had lots of counseling. I'm happy now and looking forward to my surgery. Sorry for telling my whole life story. I guess I had to get it out right now, but really I am OK. Blessings Jeanie