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The Journey of Grieving

Loss & Grief | Last Active: Mar 1, 2020 | Replies (111)

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@fara67

I relate to this as well. It seemed like we had just reached the stage of our lives to enjoy life together. Our children are grown, we had bought a house in the country with a pool to relax. We had a garden we enjoyed working together and canning the vegetables. We were finally able to afford to travel a couple of times a year. Life seemed great... then bam! He is diagnosed with liver cancer and died within 23 days. My world was completely shattered. I have no idea how to do this thing called life by myself. But in that 23 final days we talked ALOT. He did everything he possibly could to help me prepare for the days ahead. Through my faith, prayers of friends, and alot of tears I am trying. But there are moments I wonder why. I really wanted to grow old together. These posts I am reading here help me to know others have walked this journey ahead of me. I can do it too. Just not the journey I thought I would be on at 51 years old. 😢

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Replies to "I relate to this as well. It seemed like we had just reached the stage of..."

You must still be in shock! I remember after my husband's diagnosis I kept feeling or was it hoping that none of it was real. I would sometimes close my eyes and wish that when I opened them it would all be different. Also when he told me his diagnosis I remember that the whole room lost it's colour, everything was just white. I still think back and remember how anxious I became, lost 30 lbs. and yet still could not quite believe it was real.

We too were in our early 50s with a lifetime of travel, and so many things that were left undone. I close my eyes and pray that this is a dream and that when I wake he will be lying next to me. There was many a time that we couldn't believe how this could happen to us. We thought we had lived our lives well and yet here we are in the middle of this nightmare. Now I'm expected to move forward. Dont know how and if I want to. The pain, the hurt is unbearable.

@fara67 I hear you...I have been grieving since my husband's diagnosis in 2016..life as we knew it ceased to exist..I felt like my life was one big hourglass watching the sand fall through..
I was in the midst of retiring when he was sick..thankfully he had been retired for 20 years...like you and your husband, we had plans..not big ones, but plans nonetheless..so now I'm finally retired, but without him..life is a bit dim now, but I have faith and hope that will not always be the case..
It is nice to have others understand this godawfull journey...