Teresa...For me, I know that this was my husband's destiny..and now, this is mine...He put a face on living with a virtual death sentence with fortitude and pragmatism. I know he was frightened at the end, but you would have never known it..everyone who knew him was touched by his journey...
Now, for me, I'm putting a face on what it's like to deal with my unspeakable loss...we are showing those around us what that looks like...I want to be able to heal...
Although my children are adults with children of their own, they are devastated by the loss of their Dad...I can't have them burdened with carrying me along as well..I have to model, to the best of my ability, moving forward...
That is not to say I don't want to curl up in a ball from my grief..and sometimes I do..but I do the best I can to pick myself up and keep going...
This winter weather is exacerbating the whole process for me....the dreariness and darkness is a big issue for me..ugh..