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Help for dealing with personality disorder in family member
Mental Health | Last Active: Oct 5, 2019 | Replies (43)Comment receiving replies
@martha7979 - I believe you might like to connect with members @amberpep @claf @lydiaoscarsmom @sadamma4 and @parus, if you've not already met them in the community, as they have talked about narcissists they have been involved with and the challenges that presents. They may identify with the blaming and projecting onto others so not to have to take responsibility for one's own actions you mentioned, as well as working with a family member who is not yet diagnosed.
You mentioned, @martha7979, that you've done research on toxic relationships and how to best mitigate the chaos, trauma and damage done to others. Wondering if you have any learnings you might share for others in this discussion?
Replies to "@martha7979 - I believe you might like to connect with members @amberpep @claf @lydiaoscarsmom @sadamma4 and..."
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@lisalucier
I have joined an uplifting and wonderful support group called Dad Surviving Divorce. It is a 50/50 gender group which has many links to other groups and individuals dealing with disordered people. It has been more helpful than many therapists, as it is difficult to find a good one who truly understands and actually 'gets it'.
There are singles, spouses and grandparents in the group dealing with the day to day struggles.
The biggest problems in dealing with 'these' people is around how we communicate with them. Duane Robert who started his group has personal experience having been married to a narcicisst for 20 years. He also shares 3 children with her. Having made many mistakes initially, as we all do, he and many members of his group share their advice and wisdom to prevent others from making the same mistakes. His youtube videos on No Contact and Hybrid No Contact are priceless, among others check out his playlist. I support a daughter to deal with her ex who has been, and continues to be vindictive and self centred. We now know he is unable to change and are learning to forgive him so we can heal.
Other people who have helped us understand are Sam Vaknin, a diagnosed narcicisst himself, and Abdul Saad of Vital Mind Psychology as he has a very good explanation of how empaths fall for narcicissts and fall under their spell. It is a tortous road. If it is possible to 'cut them off at the knees', there are better times ahead and the opportunity to become a better person yourself because of the encounter with them, as difficult as this sounds. Sending anyone involved strength and hugs. X