I was diagnosed with a Personality Disorder a long time ago and I was treated with DBT(Dialectical Behavioral Therapy) and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy! I'm now in full remission from both Personality Disorder and Depression! I have an amazing Therapist, attend support groups including Acceptance Commitment Therapy! I fully understand your situation and my family members also still have a difficult time dealing with myself; however my current situation is different because I experienced a Major Stroke!
I do remember my family and friends supporting my Disorder and Disability, in that they also participated in helping me see how my behavior affected our relationships! I therefore chose to find help and support, which included medication for Depression, Anxiety, and my Mood Disorder!
I hope my suggestions help and support both you and your loved one through this situation!