Good morning Merry... i love you all for being so caring and responding to me... i have been to the doctors so many times .. when i was having panic attacks initially i even got hospitalized but at that time i was being treated for my ulcer.. i had no idea why i was having those attacks and why all of a sudden my mind was preoccupied with death and sadness.. few weeks later after i got discharged it became even worse and turned into 24/7 anxiety and depression... at that time i thought i was dying as i never had such strange out of body feelings in my life.. as time passed by and medication after medication failed, i came to know i wasnt dying but i had developed this horrid mental disorder 🙁 i get so restless at times i prefer i was dead than alive.. other times my mind is wrapped in fear and worry and guilt.. i close my eyes and i imagine myself climbing walls, walking on the ceiling and going in circles like that.. awful stuff.. awful torturing thoughts.. i hardly move or get out of bed.. i used to be a beat freak.. now i hardly take a shower or function... you are right.. i have to take chances .. i read yesterday that the only thing to fear is fear itsel.. maybe my brain needs to reboot .. pls remember me in your prayers.. hugs