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Your Tips on How to Get Off to the Best Start with a New Specialist

Posted by Colleen Young, Connect Director @colleenyoung, Nov 2, 2018

I'm looking for your best tips.
Starting a relationship with a new specialist can be daunting. You want to get off to a good start and ensure that you establish mutual respect and are able to develop trust. You want to know you're in good hands. What is their expertise and experience? What research are they doing? Will they listen and consider your input?

How do you get off to the best start with a new provider? What suggestions would you tell a friend who is going to see a new doctor?

+++UPDATE+++
Your tips in action: Tips shared in the discussion below made this video. It's great advice: For patients by patients.
https://youtu.be/Bw-RrEKTt60

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Visiting Mayo Clinic Support Group.

Mentor
Chris, Volunteer Mentor | @auntieoakley | Aug 28, 2019
In reply to @cacoon6 "Well everyone I made it to Mayo. I am back in my hotel room holding back..." + (show)
@cacoon6

Well everyone I made it to Mayo. I am back in my hotel room holding back the tears...I had a neurology appt at 830am and neurosurgeon appt at 11am. I took the shuttle in early. I had a rough night got in late and only had a bag of pretzels for dinner so my headache is a 10 out of 10. The neurologist was nice. He spent an hour with me, showed me my scans and said he didnt recommend treatment. But gave me 6 meds (which I dont really want to take) I said I came all the way I might as well see neurosurgery (as I am hoping for more aggressive approach) stereo radiation gamma knife. Waited 1 and half hours...neuro surgeon spent less than 10 min. Said what did neuro reccomend? He is surgeon right? I tried to engage, he couldnt be bothered. Wouldnt even order scans when he said he couldnt even verify what kind of tumor was on my pituitary. I left on the verge of tears...after talking to family. I thought I have come a long way. I called the number to ask for a second opinion through the office. They seemed irritated and after 4 hours waiting in the hospital and not eating. They called me and scheduled me for 245pm tomorrow. Sad with my experience..I was hopeful. I am sure they marked my chart "that patient" you would think no one has ever asked for another opinion.

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I am quite sure that no Mayo doctor just dismissed you, but did he give you any information about why you have symptoms? If not I would ask that directly of your second doctor. If there is something on your scans, then what might be done to treat, or alleviate symptoms. I can tell you that sometimes they don’t really have a better solution, but I am not afraid to ask a doctor, “are you sure?”

REPLY
1 reply
JK | @contentandwell | Aug 28, 2019
In reply to @cacoon6 "Well everyone I made it to Mayo. I am back in my hotel room holding back..." + (show)
@cacoon6

Well everyone I made it to Mayo. I am back in my hotel room holding back the tears...I had a neurology appt at 830am and neurosurgeon appt at 11am. I took the shuttle in early. I had a rough night got in late and only had a bag of pretzels for dinner so my headache is a 10 out of 10. The neurologist was nice. He spent an hour with me, showed me my scans and said he didnt recommend treatment. But gave me 6 meds (which I dont really want to take) I said I came all the way I might as well see neurosurgery (as I am hoping for more aggressive approach) stereo radiation gamma knife. Waited 1 and half hours...neuro surgeon spent less than 10 min. Said what did neuro reccomend? He is surgeon right? I tried to engage, he couldnt be bothered. Wouldnt even order scans when he said he couldnt even verify what kind of tumor was on my pituitary. I left on the verge of tears...after talking to family. I thought I have come a long way. I called the number to ask for a second opinion through the office. They seemed irritated and after 4 hours waiting in the hospital and not eating. They called me and scheduled me for 245pm tomorrow. Sad with my experience..I was hopeful. I am sure they marked my chart "that patient" you would think no one has ever asked for another opinion.

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@cacoon6 I am sorry that you had such a miserable day. I think even the best medical facilities can have some doctors who tend to be more abrupt than helpful. As others have said, I agree that the advice from @jolinda is the best.

I hope things go better tomorrow and that you get the help you are seeking. I’ll be looking forward to hearing how it goes.
JK

REPLY
cacoon6 | @cacoon6 | Aug 28, 2019
In reply to @auntieoakley "I am quite sure that no Mayo doctor just dismissed you, but did he give you..." + (show)
@auntieoakley

I am quite sure that no Mayo doctor just dismissed you, but did he give you any information about why you have symptoms? If not I would ask that directly of your second doctor. If there is something on your scans, then what might be done to treat, or alleviate symptoms. I can tell you that sometimes they don’t really have a better solution, but I am not afraid to ask a doctor, “are you sure?”

Jump to this post

I wish you could have been with me. When I asked him questions he said "Nope" when I said do you think my symptoms could be related he again said "Nope" I asked if another scan should be ordered since the tumor couldnt be visualized on my pituitary gland. He said Christmas...all done in less than 10 minutes. I am not sure what dismissed is but I did feel that way. I am hopeful that when visiting a MD they are open to questions and look you in the eye and not looking towards the door.

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2 replies
Moderator
Colleen Young, Connect Director | @colleenyoung | Aug 28, 2019
In reply to @cacoon6 "I wish you could have been with me. When I asked him questions he said "Nope"..." + (show)
@cacoon6

I wish you could have been with me. When I asked him questions he said "Nope" when I said do you think my symptoms could be related he again said "Nope" I asked if another scan should be ordered since the tumor couldnt be visualized on my pituitary gland. He said Christmas...all done in less than 10 minutes. I am not sure what dismissed is but I did feel that way. I am hopeful that when visiting a MD they are open to questions and look you in the eye and not looking towards the door.

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@cacoon6, I agree with everything that other members have said. With little food, sleep and a splitting headache, a poor experience was made even worse. I second @roch's experience to contact the Office of Patient Experience.
https://www.mayoclinic.org/about-mayo-clinic/patient-experience
Rochester, Minnesota, campus:
officeofpatientexperience@mayo.edu
507-284-4988

@jolinda's advice of "Focus on writing down your main points, be ready to ask "why", "when" "who else can I see"." puts you back in control. The patient is the main team member and the driver of the health care team.

REPLY
Mentor
Chris, Volunteer Mentor | @auntieoakley | Aug 28, 2019
In reply to @cacoon6 "I wish you could have been with me. When I asked him questions he said "Nope"..." + (show)
@cacoon6

I wish you could have been with me. When I asked him questions he said "Nope" when I said do you think my symptoms could be related he again said "Nope" I asked if another scan should be ordered since the tumor couldnt be visualized on my pituitary gland. He said Christmas...all done in less than 10 minutes. I am not sure what dismissed is but I did feel that way. I am hopeful that when visiting a MD they are open to questions and look you in the eye and not looking towards the door.

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Wow! I do believe you, it is just hard having seen so many doctors there. I am hoping tomorrow goes better for you.

REPLY
fiesty76 | @fiesty76 | Nov 26, 2019
In reply to @colleenyoung "These are all great tips in how to prepare for a visit. I'd like to dig..." + (show)
@colleenyoung

These are all great tips in how to prepare for a visit. I'd like to dig a bit deeper. How do you develop rapport with a new doctor?

Coincidentally, I came across this article today.
Getting Your Doctor to Really See You https://thedoctorweighsin.com/getting-your-doctor-to-really-see-you/

It provides strategies about how you can, as a patient, get your doctor to engage with you as a person. It is divided into 3 parts:
- Individual flair can ignite conversation
- Appeal to the physician as both scientist and healer
- Let technology pave the path

How do you present yourself to your doctor to establish the kind of relationship you want?

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Great link, Colleen! It prompted my next “Please See Me” true and sincerely meant openers for 2 upcoming doc visits:

To Cardio: My 1st visit with you probably saved my life...then share concise with dates of printed health challenge journey over this past year.

To Pcp: You are the 1st doc I’ve ever had who earlier instructed her nurse to cancel as “unnecessary” my just made appointment with you. Followed with printed, added updates of conditions.

With too many patients and too little time/patient, getting the doc's attention and providing data as Laurie provided in her 11/2/18 excellent post, can help the docs better help us and that is each patient's #1 goal.

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Moderator
Colleen Young, Connect Director | @colleenyoung | Mar 10, 2020

Hi all,
You guys have no idea how often I refer members to this extremely useful discussion with all your tips. In fact, we made a video capturing your top tips. Here's the video that YOU made. It is published on YouTube and was published on Mayo Clinic's app and through social media. I hope you'll share it with your networks. It's great advice: For patients by patients.

Thank you!

REPLY
1 reply
lioness | @lioness | Mar 10, 2020

@colleenyoung I liked that just reviewed it all good points

REPLY
JK | @contentandwell | Mar 12, 2020
In reply to @colleenyoung "Hi all, You guys have no idea how often I refer members to this extremely useful..." + (show)
@colleenyoung

Hi all,
You guys have no idea how often I refer members to this extremely useful discussion with all your tips. In fact, we made a video capturing your top tips. Here's the video that YOU made. It is published on YouTube and was published on Mayo Clinic's app and through social media. I hope you'll share it with your networks. It's great advice: For patients by patients.

Thank you!

Jump to this post

@colleenyoung As @lioness commented, it reviews the good points, and again did not get caught up in too much detail.
JK

REPLY
sunnyflower | @sunnyflower | Aug 31, 2020
In reply to @rosemarya "tim1028, I also like to write down my questions. I also keep a list and I..." + (show)
@rosemarya

tim1028, I also like to write down my questions. I also keep a list and I add to it between appointments.
I agree with the benefit of a typed or neatly written list for the specialist. On a first visit to a cardiologist, I also had my list that the nurse gave to the doctor before he came to see me., To my surprise, he had already read all my questions before he came into the room. He was able to work them into our conversation.

Jump to this post

Hello Everyone, I too see the value of writing a list of questions and/or symptoms and, also writing what doctors/providers tell us. We can easily forget what we want them to know and a lot of what they say, even though we can see the aftercare summary and eventually their notes from the visit.

I have done this over the years a couple of times until..... and please forgive, I don't mean to be a buzz kill/Debbie downer, but I worked as a Medical Assistant for a many years for probably 60-70 providers. Most of them did not like the lists and would complain to the staff when patients brought what they called, "a laundry list". One even said I would have to come back for another appointment. Never mind the physical hardship I went through to get there and how long I had to wait in pain.

Now, they even ask at the time of scheduling the appointment and when the MA puts you in a room, what is the "ONE" most important thing you want to address today.

Most of us have a myriad problems. I have a zillion specialists so thankfully I haven't had to deal with this in a while but it can make an already hurting patient feel worse. It's especially bad when, although not your fault, they are running behind. We didn't ask for our afflictions.

I 've had some great PCPs, who have flagged the system to allow a longer appointment time for my appointments. That is something you can suggest or talk to your doctor about. They control their own schedules and can do that so go to bat for yourselves and ask. They like it because it keeps them more on time.

We talked about advocating for ourselves recently. We Must!
I care deeply about all of you and your well being. Many blessings, Sunnyflower 😊♥️🙏

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