You are so eloquent and talented expressing yourself in writing. Sometimes it's easier to communicate the things we feel most deeply through writing. Use that ability with the key people you're dealing with -- your mom, doctor and therapist. In writing you'll be able to express yourself without the crying you're worried about and you can't be interrupted. You'll be able to finish what you need to say, all of it. You need to make yourself heard with them the way we heard you. There are other options but I think starting with the people already in your life and giving them the opportunity to really hear what you need is your first step. Keep in touch. The people here are very caring and supportive. As you take the next step you aren't alone. We're all here cheering you on.