@ihtak46 Kathy, I am humbled and recognize the courage it took for you to reach out to me. If you were here, I would hug you and we could go out and and paint together. I came to Connect because of what I learned about myself and thought it might help other people if I shared my experience. A person never really knows how far a story can go to reach out to others, and I am glad that I was able to help you find a direction. I am doing well. Thanks for asking. I am painting a lot right now so I can have a lot of new smaller work ready for a show at the end of next month. My first painting after my surgery was the portrait for my surgeon and at that time, it was tiring to do it so I took breaks and even had to lay on the floor to rest at times. I was very inspired and all I could think about was painting the man who had just given me back the gift I had lost. That was part of my emotional healing, and it gave me a way to say the things from my heart to the surgeon I admired, and created a place for my story to live in the image that celebrated him and my journey in overcoming my fears. I did this for both of us; to express my gratitude to him and to challenge myself to get back to a level of professional excellence that I expected of myself. The reception the painting has received energizes me with a sense of accomplishment. Honestly, I miss it, but I planned it as a gift. I had it hanging in my staircase and passed it several times a day and seeing my surgeon smiling back at me every day let me know I was doing OK in my recovery.

I read your posts and I looked at your photos, and they told me so much about your daughter and the goodness within her. That came from you, the mother who raised her and taught her how to love, care and nurture, and she was inspired to become a teacher and send that good energy out into the world. After reading your posts, I cried. I read Kirsten's posts too and saw how many times she shared photos of cats and dogs at shelters who were looking for adoptive homes. I thought back to my father's lasts days where I was caring for him at home knowing that his life would soon end. Every night I lay awake grieving the loss that was coming, and when I got back to my home for a few days, we visited a store knowing that a shelter would have cats there. There was one black tuxedo cat that I held on my lap that day, and I couldn't get him out of my mind, and a couple weeks later, we adopted him. I took him with me when I stayed with my parents. Having a silly cat helped me to laugh on the hardest of days when the sadness was unbearable. He also curled up with me when I was recovering from my surgery, and I felt like he needed some kitty friends too, so at 3 months post op while I was still in my neck brace, we adopted 2 kittens. Animals are very healing and in rescuing them, they rescue us. Animal shelters always need volunteers to help socialize pets before adoption and that might be a way for you to honor Kirsten. (that is when you are not painting)

This is hard, and you are not alone. We are here for you. God bless.