@mlmcg You are absolutely right and I agree, anything creative can be healing therapy. The important thing is just to do something because it's in the doing that we feel so connected and valued. I share art and music with open arms for anyone who wants to receive it, and I also really appreciate art made by others and I learn from it. I see it as another way to solve the problem of how to say something that there are no words for, and it recharges to me. My work comes from my heart and the only person I compete with is myself... to make the next painting closer to the picture I've already painted in my head. I started out at the beginning too like everyone else, but what was different was not my coordination and skill, it was the way I looked at the world. It was the questions I asked myself about what I was seeing and why things are the way they are. It was looking for how colors bounce off each other and how light dances around an object. It was looking for the relationships and connections in the world around me and why it matters. Anyone can do that and find meaning in something. That is how I look at the world, and having art in my environment is uplifting to me. When I walked into Mayo for the first time it felt like an art museum to me, and for the time that it engaged me, I forgot about the medical problem that brought me there. Other people seemed to be uplifted too. That was a welcome relief from the worries that I had.

What I can say is that my creative outlet came out of loneliness as a child, and the fears that I had. I could always express myself with pencils or paint and I would spend hours in my room doing that. Being in my room was a safe place to be. I also came the long way to fine art as a career because my parents discouraged it. They wanted me to be a doctor, and I earned a biology degree, but I decided that wasn't what I really wanted, so I worked in a university research lab for awhile, before I left to go to art school. At the time, I was healing a broken heart, and wanted to reinvent myself, so art was therapy then too. I went in thinking I was pretty good, but soon learned I had a lot to learn. The assignments were hard, and I lacked the skills to do them and I had strict deadlines. What I learned was how to fail which is a good thing because I learned from failure. Failure actually is a gift if you learn from it.

My story is one of overcoming my absolute greatest fear and using art and music to do that in order to heal. I had a choice to make. I was loosing the ability to hold my arms up and control them because of spinal cord compression from an old injury. I had worked so hard to get to where I was, and I was loosing what I loved to do the most. 5 surgeons turned me down before I came to Mayo. My case had some unusual symptoms, and no one wanted to help me. If I didn't get medical help I would have become disabled, and I was already at greater risk for paralysis. So when I came to Mayo, I brought a painting with me to show the surgeon what I needed to be able to do again so he would understand why it mattered. I really was afraid of being turned away again, but he liked my painting and took interest in it. I needed to find a way to connect with him so I wouldn't be afraid of him, and I returned to sketching as a way to address that by sketching my surgeon and he gave me his permission. I only draw and paint what I love, and this was a game to convince myself that everything would be OK. I needed to be able to embrace the surgery that I needed and had feared for so long. That is how I started down a path that lead to painting a portrait in gratitude for the surgeon who saved my ability to paint, and who preserved the fine motor control in my hands.

I used all the life experience that I had to understand my dilemma and confront my fear to make the choice to go forward with major surgery. I am so glad. This was life changing for me. I used to think that I didn't have the courage, but somewhere inside, I found it. I had to rehab after my recovery and practice again to get back what I had lost. I still have to take breaks when I tire, as painting is physical, and I am still trying to rebuild muscle that was lost in my arms and shoulders, but I have a goal that drives me. I share my experience in hopes to inspire others in what is possible. Every journey is different, so we can't compare ourselves to others. I didn't choose the hardships that have come my way in my life, but I learned from them, and all of that has shaped me into the person I am today. That is what creativity can do. It gives you the power to make a difference in your own life. I think of art as a lot of things, not only the fine arts, but also music, theater, laughter, appreciating nature, gardening, home decorating, and most of all for the connections that come from participating as both a performer and a spectator. ©