@amberpep - please know many people care about you here at Mayo Clinic Connect. I'm very sorry things are feeling so sad, and very understandably with so many things from the past flooding through your thoughts right now. Sending you a virtual hug.

Did you by chance get to look at this discussion (you'll want to click on the link to see it on the site), https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/it-wont-end/?pg=1#comment-121524/? All the posts in this thread alone directed to you are powerful testimony that you matter, and that you are important to members here.

I'd like to tag some of those members who have talked with you before here and care about your well-being, like @charlie75 @annedodrill44 @anniegk @lauraleaisme @ssbionicknee @gingerw @karen00 @contentandwell (and I know there are many others, as well).

I agree with @gailb, that it sounds like you should call your therapist's office right away with feeling so low, and that I'd sure love to know you will not harm yourself. Would you offer some assurance on that and place a call to the therapist who has helped you so much?