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You are so right Gail .... there has been so much happen in the passed 10 years that it makes my head spin ... a divorce after the 40 years, a knee replacement and then a revision, the move down here ($12,000) which I just finished paying off, I live in a low income apartment because I essentially live on S.S.,I'm looking for a job, but when they see your age (73), they immediately seem to think you're incapable of doing much of anything. I'll do anything - money is money. Now that I found out my X is seeing someone, whom all 3 of my kids have met ..... well, it makes that sting much stronger .... always the message "you're not good enough, you're nuts, you're irrational and illogical, blah, blah, blah." We were in marriage counseling for 3 much which did nothing as he wouldn't speak a word about his inner feelings and thoughts. I have been seeing a Psychologist for 15 years (in MD) and still drive up every other week for an appt., and I have a Psychiatrist who evaluates and prescribes the medications. At 73, it's just more sometimes than I can handle ... I want it all to end.
abby
Replies to "You are so right Gail .... there has been so much happen in the passed 10..."
@amberpep Hi Amber. Please try to find a bright side -- your daughters WANTED you there, they want to be closer and spend time with you. To me, that would be huge. I know that sometimes things seem like they will never get better but they always do. You are a valuable person, again that is obvious from your daughters wanting you in their lives.
I know that your divorce must have been exceedingly hard on you after so many years, but try to realize that he has lost out by divorcing. You are a good person and deserve the best. I hope you do manage to find some work, for me it would be a very positive thing. I got laid off of my last job which turned out to be fortunate because shortly after that my health problems developed, but I still miss working. I do manage to stay busy going to my health club. If I had grandchildren and they lived close by that would be great, they keep the grandmothers I know quite busy too.
Is there a senior center close to you? My sister goes to one weekly and enjoys it and has met a number of nice women there. She is now 73, some of the people there are younger than she is, some older. Push yourself to find the energy to get out and go somewhere like that or if you can find a job, do that. That would be win-win since money is tight. Many stores hire older people and of course then you get a discount there also.
DON'T GIVE UP. Things are bound to get better.
JK
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@amberpep - please know many people care about you here at Mayo Clinic Connect. I'm very sorry things are feeling so sad, and very understandably with so many things from the past flooding through your thoughts right now. Sending you a virtual hug.
Did you by chance get to look at this discussion (you'll want to click on the link to see it on the site), https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/it-wont-end/?pg=1#comment-121524/? All the posts in this thread alone directed to you are powerful testimony that you matter, and that you are important to members here.
I'd like to tag some of those members who have talked with you before here and care about your well-being, like @charlie75 @annedodrill44 @anniegk @lauraleaisme @ssbionicknee @gingerw @karen00 @contentandwell (and I know there are many others, as well).
I agree with @gailb, that it sounds like you should call your therapist's office right away with feeling so low, and that I'd sure love to know you will not harm yourself. Would you offer some assurance on that and place a call to the therapist who has helped you so much?