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Just Want to Talk | Last Active: Sep 26, 2018 | Replies (56)
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I have a chronic disability that doesn't show on the outside so people think there is nothing wrong with me, my family included. My husband is perhaps the worst because he can't handle the fact that I can't do all the things I used to do. I have surgery on Monday morning and that afternoon he was having a hissy fit because I wasn't able to cook something to eat. I try to get him to understand but he is so used to me taking care of everything he doesn't know what to do if I can't. After 43 years together I would hope he would be more willing to help me for a change.
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Hi @cindyt63 Nice to e-meet you here. I am sorry to read of your challenges! Early in my wife's battle with her brain cancer she looked quite normal on the outside, but was a mess, both physically and cognitively, on the inside. I can't tell you the number of times people made terribly hurtful remarks about her, within earshot, simply because she looked 'normal'. This also was a contributing factor to why the vast majority of her longtime friends abandon her. She looked like her old self, but wasn't acting like it. Unseen disability can be very challenging for the person with it for sure!
I bring this up since I know change can be extremely difficult for some folks to accept. When it happens with someone we love it can be doubly hard to accept. I know when my dad was failing from CHF my mom would demand that he do all the things he did before and when he couldn't she'd get upset with him. I chalked it up to fear on the part of my mom.
Sorry I have no answers, but just wanted you to know you are not alone....which sometimes can help at least a tad bit.
Strength, courage, and peace!