No support at home!

Posted by chocolate5lover @chocolate5lover, Sep 8, 2018

Does anyone else have trouble with–no help at home from family members?

@chocolate5lover I see your a new member. Welcome to connect. And to answer your question. Yes. I think sometimes family members are aloof to each other. Often taking each other for granted. I don't think it is intentional it just happens. Family members so often get caught up in their own lives they forget to look around at each other. And in this day and age most are glued to their cell phones. Do you have any close friends you can seek support from?
Jackie

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@travelgirl

@chocolate5lover I see your a new member. Welcome to connect. And to answer your question. Yes. I think sometimes family members are aloof to each other. Often taking each other for granted. I don't think it is intentional it just happens. Family members so often get caught up in their own lives they forget to look around at each other. And in this day and age most are glued to their cell phones. Do you have any close friends you can seek support from?
Jackie

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Thank you! All I wanted was one person who understood what it is like. My 2 sisters were my support group, but both of them are going through their own problems right now and are not available. That is why I sought out this support group. In November I will have had type 2 diabetes for 6 years now. Thank you for your response, I needed to hear from someone who understands this disease.

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@chocolate5lover I think I understand how you are feeling. In my family I am the "go to" person. You know, the one that plans, invites, preps, caters, etc. every event. What happens to me is that when the event happens one of the other siblings takes credit. That burns me up! They all agree to help, but when it comes down to it they "forget", are late or can't make it. So frustrating for me. I pray a lot!

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I find that family members understand that your not yourself however as time goes on and you've had a couple of surgerys to correct your problem, because some days when you feel half normal and attend a family function they say you look fine and assume that you are some say you need to get out more and you'll feel better and when you are the person in the family as with chocolate5lover, that does all the work ect and that suddenly stops but you don't look sick people don't understand that you still have days that you have to use all your energy just to get out of bed….I too pray a lot I've even brought my mothers to the dr.'s with me so she can understand my condition….I think they are in denial not wanting to face that their loved one really is sick or has a life altering condition so I try to pray for them as well….sorry for the long post but I hope it helps

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@chocolate5lover welcome to this group. Here, we can find sympathetic voices, who are in or have been in the same place. Like others have commented, sometimes our own families see what they want, and cannot admit to someone close to them needing help. It might literally be "too close to home". My own family preferred to ignore things that needed to be addressed; eventually I had to learn to turn elsewhere for help. Now I cannot bring myself to open up to them, even simple daily pleasantries.
Ginger

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@travelgirl

@chocolate5lover I see your a new member. Welcome to connect. And to answer your question. Yes. I think sometimes family members are aloof to each other. Often taking each other for granted. I don't think it is intentional it just happens. Family members so often get caught up in their own lives they forget to look around at each other. And in this day and age most are glued to their cell phones. Do you have any close friends you can seek support from?
Jackie

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This must be common. Anyone can be sick and seriously ill, but not MOM. I have heard it all and now live my life and see my doctors and no one gets a report. If I let them know anything, the ranting starts. Mom, you are stronger than all of us. Mom, those doctors don't know what they are doing. Mom I looked up that medicine and it has poison in it. Well, son, did you ever think I might have poison in me? I don't say that, but I am thinking it. I know they love me. I never did this to my mother. But then, I got along quite well without her most of the time. Maybe that is my problem. I never stopped doing everything for them. This is going to be a great intrusion into their lives So, I decided to move to Independent living. I won't need the kids for this and that. I am 76 and I realize it is a bit early to think Independent Living and not my home, BUT, I bet there are more moms behind me. Welcome to Freedom! NOW GROW UP

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@gingerw

@chocolate5lover welcome to this group. Here, we can find sympathetic voices, who are in or have been in the same place. Like others have commented, sometimes our own families see what they want, and cannot admit to someone close to them needing help. It might literally be "too close to home". My own family preferred to ignore things that needed to be addressed; eventually I had to learn to turn elsewhere for help. Now I cannot bring myself to open up to them, even simple daily pleasantries.
Ginger

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Gingerw.. I totally understand. I cannot bring anything up anymore. When I took them to the doctor, the doctor was not as open as she is with me. I almost went into a coma because my kids did not believe me when I told them call 911 I am so sick. I cannot believe it but 911 even thought I was over-reacting when they saw how my kids handled the situation. I was put in an off the main area room in ER and this is where I almost went into a coma. I remember my son and his wife asking the nurse could she really go into a coma. Nurse: YES. I don't tell them anything anymore. I will be ready for burial and they will refuse to bury me. If you just had a cold or something, they listen. BUT don't you dare bring up a life threatening thing mom… This has been the hardest thing for me to mention to anyone. It sounds like they don't love me. They DO But, I am creating an inconvenience.

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@oregongirl

Gingerw.. I totally understand. I cannot bring anything up anymore. When I took them to the doctor, the doctor was not as open as she is with me. I almost went into a coma because my kids did not believe me when I told them call 911 I am so sick. I cannot believe it but 911 even thought I was over-reacting when they saw how my kids handled the situation. I was put in an off the main area room in ER and this is where I almost went into a coma. I remember my son and his wife asking the nurse could she really go into a coma. Nurse: YES. I don't tell them anything anymore. I will be ready for burial and they will refuse to bury me. If you just had a cold or something, they listen. BUT don't you dare bring up a life threatening thing mom… This has been the hardest thing for me to mention to anyone. It sounds like they don't love me. They DO But, I am creating an inconvenience.

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@oregongirl I am not a Mom. My lack of support comes from my siblings. My mother "didn't get" my illnesses, either, but at this point I forgive her that, as she had her own mental demons to battle, along with dementia and Alzheimer's. She told me I was making things up so people would feel sorry for me. Not my agenda at all: I wanted certain people to be aware of my situation in case something happened.

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@2011panc

@chocolate5lover I think I understand how you are feeling. In my family I am the "go to" person. You know, the one that plans, invites, preps, caters, etc. every event. What happens to me is that when the event happens one of the other siblings takes credit. That burns me up! They all agree to help, but when it comes down to it they "forget", are late or can't make it. So frustrating for me. I pray a lot!

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Thank you so much, I feel that I have found a home on this site. I too pray a lot!!!

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that is the beauty of this site we all pray for each other….God Bless us all

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Hello @chocolate5lover I think a lot about this. I'm a cancer "survivor" on a Facebook group with others like me and people will often complain that their family doesn't "get it". Every case is different but I think in my case and others the family expects you to move on after the initial treatment but you can't move on and suddenly realise how lonely it is to have a chronic or life-threatening illness. The only people who really understand are those who have been through the same thing. I hope this makes sense. I have felt abandoned by my family before – not at this point no – but I know how you must feel.

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Can you sign up for living with diabetes class? I signed up for the class. It's once per week. I think its support and teaching all in one.

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