Oh Abby, i am so sorry you are feeling so depressed. I am also going through depression and Anxiety and I am 72. I have had problems for years and been able to take meds and get it under control. This time around, I am having a hard time. My doctor said that sometimes when you get older, it is harder to control. I just want you to know that even though we have never meant we share a common bond. I care what happens to you and hope you will keep us in the loop. I can tell you are in a very bad place right now. Do you have a doctor you are seeing? I hope you do. It is so important you have someone with knowledge that you can check in with.