1. < Autism (ASD)

Adults On The Autism Spectrum

Posted by Mamacita, Alumna Mentor @mamacita, Apr 29, 2018

Maybe you were really shy as a child. Perhaps you took home a huge stack of books from the school library, read them, and returned them the next day. Or did your best friend find you crying in your closet, unable to answer the question "Why?" At any rate, your life could be traced to the Self-Help section of the local bookstore. Unfortunately, most of the books were not much help. ADHD seemed to fit, at times. Your shrink said you might be Bi-Polar, although she wasn't really certain. All you knew was that you rarely fit in, anywhere. One day at work, it hit you square in the face: I don't speak these people's language! Really, it was like you were all playing this game, and everyone knew the rules but you. You couldn't tell a joke, and you never "got" any joke your co-worker tried to tell you. People started getting annoyed with you, because you had a memory like a steel trap. They didn't appreciate it when you called them on the carpet. Who knew? This was my life, and worse. I finally aced several tests that pointed me to the answer to my questions. The Autism Spectrum. Guess what? Little kids with Autism grow up to be Adults with Autism. Diagnosed late in life? This is the place for you!

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Autism (ASD) Support Group.

mjsmimi | @mjsmimi | Oct 10, 2018
In reply to @mamacita "Mamacita, here. How are you? I hope you are well and prospering here at the beginning..." + (show)
@mamacita

Mamacita, here.
How are you? I hope you are well and prospering here at the beginning of a new season. Leaves have been falling for some time now, here in the South, where I live. The other day we had 90 degree weather, though. And it will go up and down until likely Thanksgiving, or even later. Once, perhaps even three or four times, we have had weather so hot that we would wear shorts and a tee shirt for Turkey Day.

I tell everyone who will listen that we are turning into Florida. More and more I see Elephants Ears, Ferns, and Palm Trees in the small North Alabama town I live in. Thriving, beautiful, and totally appropriate. Living things, yet not human. All needing air, sunlight, water, and food.

As Auties, what do we need to thrive? Going to check back with you. Where do you think you are on this journey? Are there points of similarity that we can agree on? Hope I hear back from you!

Adios,

Mamacita

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Hello,
I just saw your post as I am poring my thoughts and fears down on paper. Ironically.
I am in a really bad spot here or so I think? I don't know what to think? MY BF has me thinking I am nuts and losing it because I don't do things his way. everything from the way I talk to the way I come to bed. I don't know what way to turn. I think he has finally done it and made me nuts like his ex wife. I am down to 12.5 on my effexor. Is my brain withdrawing and thinking weird shit or his he right? He is a King and can read people and feel the presence of passed people and is reading there messages that tell him I am a psycho. He really thinks i have taken notes on what he went through with his ex wife and purposely and repeated to hurt him?? I am so confused right now. I am fighting to keep things together. All I want is to spend time with my granddaughter and feel normal. I am not doing anything wrong. Every trip is a problem He thinks I am on my way to have an affair on my way there with whomever he decides it is this time. I have never had an affair on him. He just won't get it. He will think its the neighbor one day the next neighbor down the next. and so on. He is driving me nuts...I don't know why I love this man. At this point I cant stand him...

REPLY
2 replies
Mentor
Teresa, Volunteer Mentor | @hopeful33250 | Oct 10, 2018
In reply to @mjsmimi "Hello, I just saw your post as I am poring my thoughts and fears down on..." + (show)
@mjsmimi

Hello,
I just saw your post as I am poring my thoughts and fears down on paper. Ironically.
I am in a really bad spot here or so I think? I don't know what to think? MY BF has me thinking I am nuts and losing it because I don't do things his way. everything from the way I talk to the way I come to bed. I don't know what way to turn. I think he has finally done it and made me nuts like his ex wife. I am down to 12.5 on my effexor. Is my brain withdrawing and thinking weird shit or his he right? He is a King and can read people and feel the presence of passed people and is reading there messages that tell him I am a psycho. He really thinks i have taken notes on what he went through with his ex wife and purposely and repeated to hurt him?? I am so confused right now. I am fighting to keep things together. All I want is to spend time with my granddaughter and feel normal. I am not doing anything wrong. Every trip is a problem He thinks I am on my way to have an affair on my way there with whomever he decides it is this time. I have never had an affair on him. He just won't get it. He will think its the neighbor one day the next neighbor down the next. and so on. He is driving me nuts...I don't know why I love this man. At this point I cant stand him...

Jump to this post

I appreciate your very honest post, @mjsmimi. It sounds like you need some outside help, someone you can talk to outside of your family. Perhaps a professional counselor, pastor, church friend or other type of support community. You will need help so that you can determine your best course of action.

I would like to invite @gingerw and @gailb to this discussion as well.

I look forward to hearing what steps you will take in order to help yourself.

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1 reply
mjsmimi | @mjsmimi | Oct 10, 2018
In reply to @hopeful33250 "I appreciate your very honest post, @mjsmimi. It sounds like you need some outside help, someone..." + (show)
@hopeful33250

I appreciate your very honest post, @mjsmimi. It sounds like you need some outside help, someone you can talk to outside of your family. Perhaps a professional counselor, pastor, church friend or other type of support community. You will need help so that you can determine your best course of action.

I would like to invite @gingerw and @gailb to this discussion as well.

I look forward to hearing what steps you will take in order to help yourself.

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We are trying to talk and move on. He thinks my dead husband is here telling him what an evil person I am so he can justify getting out? I don't know what he is trying to do. This is so deep. He now has a drawing of a bombshelter and trip wire. He blames his smothering on wanting to protect because I need to be alone and not by his side at all times. I mean from dropping off his daughter to school to cleaning out the car. If I am not there, I am cheating. I am not his ex wife or the first ex. I am beginning to wonder if they really did cheat or he just has this personality and manifest all of this. Like I said, this is deep. to deep for my brain. I don't have the patience to sort all of this out. This makes me feel selfish. ??

REPLY
2 replies
Mentor
Ginger, Volunteer Mentor | @gingerw | Oct 10, 2018
In reply to @mjsmimi "We are trying to talk and move on. He thinks my dead husband is here telling..." + (show)
@mjsmimi

We are trying to talk and move on. He thinks my dead husband is here telling him what an evil person I am so he can justify getting out? I don't know what he is trying to do. This is so deep. He now has a drawing of a bombshelter and trip wire. He blames his smothering on wanting to protect because I need to be alone and not by his side at all times. I mean from dropping off his daughter to school to cleaning out the car. If I am not there, I am cheating. I am not his ex wife or the first ex. I am beginning to wonder if they really did cheat or he just has this personality and manifest all of this. Like I said, this is deep. to deep for my brain. I don't have the patience to sort all of this out. This makes me feel selfish. ??

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@mjsmimi Please reach out to someone in your area that you can trust. It sounds like your situation is escalating, and your safety may be at stake. Is there a reason you want to continue in this relationship? I know that is a tough question to ask, and even harder to consider answering. Would it be possible to go to joint counseling? Thank you for reaching out, and keep in touch.
Ginger

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mjsmimi | @mjsmimi | Oct 10, 2018

No, this relationship is toxic for both of us. I believe he is right in a lot of aspects, but I am as well. He doesn't know everything and everyone's feelings like he thinks he does. He is trying to make me think he is this person that is above and better. He preaches what a good man he is and how he just wants to protect and that's why he is the way he is. He believes he is one of the few good men out there... Hell maybe he is right and I have to learn the hard way.?? It's a chance I am willing to take. I am not going to miss out on the things I love to do because he thinks I am out there cheating and posting myself. That is not true, that is his paranoid personality from his wifes cheating on him. I am a strong woman (he jokes(seriously) that I am a tough guy) I am not a woman, no woman of his would act that way. It just goes on and on. Forgive me for rambling, I just need to get these thoughts out on paper. It helps. Maybe some insight from outside the box can see things better. Maybe I am way off base and all of what he is saying is correct and I just don't know anything. I was married for 30 years. Some good some bad years. I had an affair with him during that time. He called on me 15 years after the affair. (what does that mean) why did he call? Why couldn't I resist him the second time around. Is this the animalistic instinct people talk about. I am really rambling now. I need to seek professional help and move on. It is really sad. THe huge problem is he and his daughter live here and will have to move. He has no job, no car.? I worry where he will go and how he will survive. Why can't I just say it's not my problem. I guess down deep I feel responsible?
Is all of this the results of Effexor??? To mess with peoples minds. Or is this all just coincidentally happening as I am tapering off this drug? WOW

REPLY
3 replies
mjsmimi | @mjsmimi | Oct 10, 2018
In reply to @mjsmimi "No, this relationship is toxic for both of us. I believe he is right in a..." + (show)
@mjsmimi

No, this relationship is toxic for both of us. I believe he is right in a lot of aspects, but I am as well. He doesn't know everything and everyone's feelings like he thinks he does. He is trying to make me think he is this person that is above and better. He preaches what a good man he is and how he just wants to protect and that's why he is the way he is. He believes he is one of the few good men out there... Hell maybe he is right and I have to learn the hard way.?? It's a chance I am willing to take. I am not going to miss out on the things I love to do because he thinks I am out there cheating and posting myself. That is not true, that is his paranoid personality from his wifes cheating on him. I am a strong woman (he jokes(seriously) that I am a tough guy) I am not a woman, no woman of his would act that way. It just goes on and on. Forgive me for rambling, I just need to get these thoughts out on paper. It helps. Maybe some insight from outside the box can see things better. Maybe I am way off base and all of what he is saying is correct and I just don't know anything. I was married for 30 years. Some good some bad years. I had an affair with him during that time. He called on me 15 years after the affair. (what does that mean) why did he call? Why couldn't I resist him the second time around. Is this the animalistic instinct people talk about. I am really rambling now. I need to seek professional help and move on. It is really sad. THe huge problem is he and his daughter live here and will have to move. He has no job, no car.? I worry where he will go and how he will survive. Why can't I just say it's not my problem. I guess down deep I feel responsible?
Is all of this the results of Effexor??? To mess with peoples minds. Or is this all just coincidentally happening as I am tapering off this drug? WOW

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Thank You Ginger for responding. Any outside perspective is helpful. Someone looking in not within.

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Mamacita, Alumna Mentor | @mamacita | Oct 10, 2018

RESOURCE: Samantha Craft, the author of Everyday Aspergers, recently shared this on her Facebook page:

"I am starting international (Skype or Google Hangout) peer mentoring and vocational counseling sessions in January 2019. If you are interested in being on the waitlist or would like more information, please private message me on Facebook. More information soon. myspectrumsuite.com"

REPLY
2 replies
Mamacita, Alumna Mentor | @mamacita | Oct 10, 2018
In reply to @mamacita "RESOURCE: Samantha Craft, the author of Everyday Aspergers, recently shared this on her Facebook page: "I..." + (show)
@mamacita

RESOURCE: Samantha Craft, the author of Everyday Aspergers, recently shared this on her Facebook page:

"I am starting international (Skype or Google Hangout) peer mentoring and vocational counseling sessions in January 2019. If you are interested in being on the waitlist or would like more information, please private message me on Facebook. More information soon. myspectrumsuite.com"

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Teresa, Volunteer Mentor, this is my first "copy and paste" that I have ever attempted on Mayo Clinic Connect. Everyone in my family always tells me that I have a bad habit of looking at every single leaf on every single tree of the forrest. You know the expression," Can't see the forrest for the trees?"

Well I am the poster child for that saying. Now that I understand the principles of copy and paste, there are so many more things that I can share with this group.

Next time I will make clear right off the bat, the first words I say will be the author of the article, to.make perfectly clear about who to give credit to.

Lesson learned. I'm trying hard to keep up with everything while re -covering from foot surgery, oral surgery, allergies, and now a bad cold. Plagues of Egypt, anyone? God is good, all the time. Even when we feel that the Universe has turned it's collective back on us, even when all our friends seem to have gone on a long European vacation. And we didn't even get a stinkin' post card.

The "force" is still with us. Cookies and Milk are still the answer to most life problems.
. And holding hands while you cross the street is still a good idea.

We are still better together.

Hugs forever,
Mamacita (Jane)

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1 reply
Mamacita, Alumna Mentor | @mamacita | Oct 10, 2018

Diagnosed at any time at all , or self diagnosed. Does not matter. You are welcome here. We are anonymous. We are , if you should pardon the pun, a safe place to "connect." All except for me!

Everyone knows who I really am because I was a member here, of several communities. Depression, Chronic Pain, Type Two Diabetes, you name it, I have had it or have someone very close to me have it.

I believe I started visiting Mayo Clinic Connect in 2016. If I had known how valuable the experience would have been to my life, I would have stayed exclusively with them, and only used social media from time to time to share cat pictures and dogs saying I love you!

As time has gone by, the people of Mayo Clinic have become as kind and thoughtful as friends and family have been.They are quite educated and have a strong desire to help other people. If they don't have an answer, they know how to connect to someone who can help. Don't be afraid to ask questions or reveal details of your situation. I tell everyone now it is a good thing I was as transparent as I was when I returned. Everyone has been down roads they wish they hadn't. There are no perfect people here. Just folks who need encouragement and information. A friendly chat.

So please rest assured. I am here for you. And my friends and colleagues are waiting to listen to your story. My motto is "We are better together." Toodles !

Mamacita

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