1. < Autism (ASD)

Adults On The Autism Spectrum

Posted by Mamacita, Alumna Mentor @mamacita, Apr 29, 2018

Maybe you were really shy as a child. Perhaps you took home a huge stack of books from the school library, read them, and returned them the next day. Or did your best friend find you crying in your closet, unable to answer the question "Why?" At any rate, your life could be traced to the Self-Help section of the local bookstore. Unfortunately, most of the books were not much help. ADHD seemed to fit, at times. Your shrink said you might be Bi-Polar, although she wasn't really certain. All you knew was that you rarely fit in, anywhere. One day at work, it hit you square in the face: I don't speak these people's language! Really, it was like you were all playing this game, and everyone knew the rules but you. You couldn't tell a joke, and you never "got" any joke your co-worker tried to tell you. People started getting annoyed with you, because you had a memory like a steel trap. They didn't appreciate it when you called them on the carpet. Who knew? This was my life, and worse. I finally aced several tests that pointed me to the answer to my questions. The Autism Spectrum. Guess what? Little kids with Autism grow up to be Adults with Autism. Diagnosed late in life? This is the place for you!

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Autism (ASD) Support Group.

Mentor
Ginger, Volunteer Mentor | @gingerw | Sep 25, 2018
In reply to @gailb "@mamacita I'm happy to see you back on line. I want you to know that I..." + (show)
@gailb

@mamacita

I'm happy to see you back on line. I want you to know that I have never been good with getting the humor in most jokes people tell. I tried to read the funnies in the newspaper when I was in my 20s, but never saw the humor. I haven't read them since. I've always thought there must be something wrong with me that I saw these jokes/cartoons as all too true to be funny. There are many traits I have in common with you, but I recognize that I'm not atypical. However, I feel like because of your and @sirgalahad sharing here, I better understand what your experience is.

I watched a Netflix show called "Atypical" and it was one of the best I've seen; funny and poignant. Have you seen this show, and if so, could you comment on its authenticity or lack of? I felt like I had a much better understanding of the autism spectrum as a result of watching the 2 seasons of the show. My grandson has Tourettes Syndrome, and he has struggled with bullying at school, learning disabilities, fear of touch, as well as OCD, and ADHD. He's 17 now and his ticks are much better as is his attitude. He's very brave and has an amazing level of self confidence and empathy for others. I respect his experiences and his ability to make his life work. He's currently preparing himself to leave home when he graduates from high school next spring. He's extremely smart in mathematics and literature and is an excellent writer. He wants to become an engineer, whiche is a great choice for him. I think understanding my grandson has helped me accept the differences and gifts we each bring to this world. Every living being, human, animal, plant has a valuable and rich contribution to make in this world.

Thanks for adding to my learning and understanding.

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@gailb Being there for your grandson, supporting him, helping him understand how the world often views those with visible otherness (I hate the word disability!), goes a long way in his confidence. What a great foundation has been laid for this young man.
Ginger

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1 reply
Mentor
Ginger, Volunteer Mentor | @gingerw | Sep 25, 2018
In reply to @mamacita "Hi, Teresa, Volunteer Mentor. Whew! It has been a while since I felt well enough to..." + (show)
@mamacita

Hi, Teresa, Volunteer Mentor. Whew! It has been a while since I felt well enough to get back on here. I really lostt track of time.

When I was a young teen, my somewhat older cousins could tell me jokes, but I never could understand them. I didn't want to appear ungrateful or stupid, so I would laugh anyway.
I found the Andy Griffith show, I Love Lucy, and some of Bonanza humerous. Of course like most children, I adored cartoons. I have not studied about jokes in regards to Autistics. But I have a feeling it must have something to do with unwritten rules of society , subtle nuances, which are hard for us to comprehend. May I get back with you on that?

I am having foot surgery day after tomorrow, so it might be a bit.Sirgalahad, could you or gingerw give Teresa some of your thoughts on this?

Hope to "talk. " with you soon

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@mamacita I hope your surgery goes amazingly well and that you are back up and dancing down the road pretty soon. We're here for you!

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Mentor
Ginger, Volunteer Mentor | @gingerw | Sep 25, 2018
In reply to @mamacita "Hi, Teresa, Volunteer Mentor. Whew! It has been a while since I felt well enough to..." + (show)
@mamacita

Hi, Teresa, Volunteer Mentor. Whew! It has been a while since I felt well enough to get back on here. I really lostt track of time.

When I was a young teen, my somewhat older cousins could tell me jokes, but I never could understand them. I didn't want to appear ungrateful or stupid, so I would laugh anyway.
I found the Andy Griffith show, I Love Lucy, and some of Bonanza humerous. Of course like most children, I adored cartoons. I have not studied about jokes in regards to Autistics. But I have a feeling it must have something to do with unwritten rules of society , subtle nuances, which are hard for us to comprehend. May I get back with you on that?

I am having foot surgery day after tomorrow, so it might be a bit.Sirgalahad, could you or gingerw give Teresa some of your thoughts on this?

Hope to "talk. " with you soon

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@hopeful33250 @mamacita @sirgalahad and others: As someone on the spectrum, I never stopped to consider that my view was differently wired from the person right next to me. All my life I have seen things very seriously. I take someone's words as words, and as sirgalahad said, changes in tone, or nuances don't mean anything. I don't hear the humor. Remember the old saying, "half a joke in full earnest"? It's like that. Now, when you combine verbal with physical comedy together, sometimes I'll get that, as auditory and visual cues process differently, but together (for me, anyways) they can give me the intent behind it. This actually is a bit of an issue in my marriage, as my husband has a witty sense of humor, but complains I take things too seriously. I only hear the words, not the tone or meaning. I hope this makes some sense?
Ginger

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1 reply
Mentor
Teresa, Volunteer Mentor | @hopeful33250 | Sep 25, 2018

That does make sense, @gingerw, I've always been a serious person as well. I can understand what you mean about the combination of visual and verbal cues coming together to make something humorous. I do see what you mean about visual and auditory cues processing differently.

This is such a great learning experience as I'm beginning to see the world through different eyes and it really makes sense to me. It also makes me more sensitive to others when I sense that they "don't get" something right away (or perhaps not at all). Thanks for your help!

REPLY
sirgalahad | @sirgalahad | Sep 25, 2018
In reply to @gingerw "@hopeful33250 @mamacita @sirgalahad and others: As someone on the spectrum, I never stopped to consider that..." + (show)
@gingerw

@hopeful33250 @mamacita @sirgalahad and others: As someone on the spectrum, I never stopped to consider that my view was differently wired from the person right next to me. All my life I have seen things very seriously. I take someone's words as words, and as sirgalahad said, changes in tone, or nuances don't mean anything. I don't hear the humor. Remember the old saying, "half a joke in full earnest"? It's like that. Now, when you combine verbal with physical comedy together, sometimes I'll get that, as auditory and visual cues process differently, but together (for me, anyways) they can give me the intent behind it. This actually is a bit of an issue in my marriage, as my husband has a witty sense of humor, but complains I take things too seriously. I only hear the words, not the tone or meaning. I hope this makes some sense?
Ginger

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it does because we on the spectrum don't hear the subtle tonal change people use in doing comedy or setting up jokes and the voice going up or down or pauses to emphasize a point . we are also cant read the faces of people as well and the change in expressions or the irony or sarcasm and because we also cant look people in the eye either .

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1 reply
sirgalahad | @sirgalahad | Sep 25, 2018

a lot of the links as well if we discholia,dysphraxia,dyslexic, and other attached disability or amusia and deaf in my left ear like me

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sirgalahad | @sirgalahad | Sep 25, 2018

people whom are amusa dont have timing and musical

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Gail Benson Ledesma , Alumni Mentor | @gailb | Sep 25, 2018
In reply to @gingerw "@gailb Being there for your grandson, supporting him, helping him understand how the world often views..." + (show)
@gingerw

@gailb Being there for your grandson, supporting him, helping him understand how the world often views those with visible otherness (I hate the word disability!), goes a long way in his confidence. What a great foundation has been laid for this young man.
Ginger

Jump to this post

@gingerw

Thank you so much. I hope I have helped my grandson in some ways.

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1 reply
Mentor
Teresa, Volunteer Mentor | @hopeful33250 | Sep 26, 2018
In reply to @sirgalahad "it does because we on the spectrum don't hear the subtle tonal change people use in..." + (show)
@sirgalahad

it does because we on the spectrum don't hear the subtle tonal change people use in doing comedy or setting up jokes and the voice going up or down or pauses to emphasize a point . we are also cant read the faces of people as well and the change in expressions or the irony or sarcasm and because we also cant look people in the eye either .

Jump to this post

@sirgalahad
The lack of eye contact explains a lot to me, @sirgalahad. That would make it difficult to understand jokes because facial expressions provide a lot of clues. Thanks again for taking the time to explain this to me. You are a great teacher!

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1 reply
Mentor
Teresa, Volunteer Mentor | @hopeful33250 | Sep 26, 2018
In reply to @gailb "@gingerw Thank you so much. I hope I have helped my grandson in some ways." + (show)
@gailb

@gingerw

Thank you so much. I hope I have helped my grandson in some ways.

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@gailb I feel sure you have helped your grandson in many ways. You are a kind, thoughtful person and he is blessed to have you in his life!

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