Anxiety and Panic Attacks

@gailb I think many of us have been through some degree of self-doubt from lack of self-confidence. I feel so much more secure at my age than I did when I was younger. I am who I am, take me or leave me, and I will decide what is best for me, more these days than earlier in my life.
JK

@mattie

Your family did to you what many families do to members who are trying to better themselves. There is something that makes some families work to keep their members down with them. This also perpetuates the poverty cycle. I experienced this phenomenon as well. I was put down with every advance I made in taking care of myself. I always felt like an outsider around my biological family. No one in my family came to my graduation from college with my BSBA, nor my Master's degree. I was accused of being "uppity."

These family members are envious of your success and worry that you are going to "show them up." I know that your intention is to reach your highest potential. I'm happy to read that you returned to college and graduated at the top of your class. You are working now to improve the quality of your life. You can do that! I encourage you to see a counselor and work with talk therapy to have outside feedback as you face your "demons" and fears. I just learned that you can check with any large hospital in your area and ask about geriatric counseling that will be covered by Medicare.

You are taking brave steps in the process of learning to love yourself. At one point, I had to take hugging lessons because for me then, hugging hurt. But that's another post. Thank you for having a "special" hiding place as a child. @cognac, thank you too. Children are good at survival if given half a chance.

Gail
Volunteer Mentor

You have found your way to paint again, what a fascinating thing that you are painting what floaters look like. Good luck and please share what you will be painting next.

Dear @mattie, From the little bit that you have written, I can tell that you are a caring individual. You mention each one of your children with a good deal of description. I can almost picture each one, as they are now, and when they were small. I am sorry they are not able to give you more time and attention. I know it is difficult to be in constant pain, especially when it seems at times that family and friends cannot help. You mentioned that it hurts to write, as you have arthritis in your hands. Have you ever tried paraffin treatments? Basically it involves dipping your hands in a warm, not hot, pot of paraffin. It feels so good! Another little trick is to dampen a hand towel and microwave it until toasty warm. Then wrap the towel around your hand and leave it there. Again, the feeling is just lovely. I also use hand braces that you can get at Walgreens. The pressure seems to help me. I also have Carpal Tunnel in both hands. I would not be able to get on the computer if I didn't have a few tricks up my sleeve! I hope that you will continue visiting the Mayo Clinic Connect groups as you seek for improvements in your health. We look forward to "seeing you" here again soon.
Light and love,
Mamacita

Hi, all,
Thought you might enjoy getting to know more about @gailb, who has been part of this discussion on anxiety and panic attacks, in today's Connect member spotlight: https://connect.mayoclinic.org/newsfeed-post/gailb/

thank you so much, I have been so disjointed...mentally.I want relate what happened the last few days. Since my psychiaterist would not help me unless I drove out to see him ( I have macular deg and he is 45 minutes...with tons of construction...I decided to just take my Klonopin and add wellbutrin which my reg gp had given me and I had not taken. I did call psy and told him he didntr care...so I did. A few days later I became so edgy, so mean...I was afraid of my feelings. I screamed at myself, the dogs, wanted to pound the table...I t was horrible to me. I called the druggist and he said ,"It has changed your personality. Stop taking it immediately." I had looked it up on comp but didnt see much until I came to WebMD which listed that as #1 side effect. So just as a precauteion...am telling the story.. Now I am taking jusst Klonopin 2x a day unless I need more which hast happened yet...Bless you.

Thank you. I find that helpful

@mattie Been there. Thankful you called the pharmacy. Sorry you are in a hard place. Some medications can do nasty things. Hope you can find some help and a medication that can be of help.

My therapist says go with the flow don’t fight it, but I have a really hard time with that. They make me so nauseated I feel I could vomit. I’m in Ativan very low dose, helps some but I have breakthrough all day. Also use CBD oil helps some. I just want them all to stop so I can be myself. I’ve been months feeling like this,,think I need a hole in the ground

@cdcc Can understand you are discouraged. As for me, I keep looking for a rock to hide under. All of the good ones are already taken. When you refer to a hole in the ground it sounds like you are fed up. No one seeing me has any idea the misery dwelling within. I am the smiling face when I emerge from my woman's cave. What energy this requires!!!
I no longer talk about chronic (at times, severe) pain, how worthless I am in this state. I can no longer tolerate being told to pull myself up out of this state. It is like I am being accused of "wanting" to feel this way. I find myself to be a boil on society. I would much rather be working and helping others. The depression has been much, much worse since I can no longer work.
Comprehend some of how you are feeling. The feeling of worthlessness and thinking one needs a hole in the ground is...no words other than "I get it".