I can totally understand and relates in many ways big time as a primary caregiver for 2 there's not enough room to be happy and when you try to reality kicks in just keep on focusing on your grandchild or your grandchildren gardening whatever it is you like even if it's for a little bit make that time that you feel better stretch and find the time or try to find the time to keep doing those things that make you feel better cuz honestly it doesn't matter how many therapists or how many professionals one sees it can't change some of the hardcore realities of Our Lives by encourage you to look at the Sun and take in the light I encourage you to look at a flower and smell it and touch it and feel it I encourage you to take time with your grandchild and if nothing else just observe and listen to their voice taking their smell and make that last in your brain so then when your brain is off in darkland you can come back to those things that make you smile also do the music put on the music you love doesn't matter that other people don't like it too bad for them this is about you put on comedy watch things that make you laugh go to movies read books that you can in between I take my books a lot into the loo I get a lot of reading done in the loom it's one of the few places the most of the time people can get to me and have me do more work as for the news don't read it don't look at it because if you need to know about it you're going to know about it one way or the other you will find out about it if you need to so why I find out about it when you don't need to for example I don't listen to the news unless I have to turn on the radio station that gives me updates on traffic was also gives me updates on the news it's not going to solve all the problems and it's not going to make us feel better all the time we do can change things one of the other things that I do is that I like really good coffee and I don't spend money on myself too often but what I do get is the type of coffee that I like and I grind the beans and I enjoy a good quality coffee as opposed to the instant Brands and all that other non real stuff LOL I know I've been going on and on just do the little things to keep your sanity into keeping the beat I know it's not easy trust me I know I'm with you on that I hope this helps a little bit and I'm sorry that I've gone on and on.