Hi @chill28 and welcome to Connect. I can imagine that sex is the last thing on your mind with being unwell, dealing with extreme fatigue, waiting for a kidney not to mention having a 2 year old and a 16 year old. Even without the health issues, little children take a lot of our attention and energy. I'm not a counselor or therapist, but I wonder if your husband is suffering from lack of attention. Your children and your health are the primary focus, and he might be mourning the fact that this isn't the way he had expected things to be when you married 4 years ago. Then, on top of that, he's not allowed to say anything out loud about it. He may be feeling sadness, anger and guilt all mixed into one.
Can the two of you talk about things like this? I wonder if simply bringing things out into the open could help. What do you think?

Well said. I believe you are right. We have talked before but you mentioned a few things I think I'll ask him. He really doesn't get much attention from me because of the things you listed but also in afraid it will go into him wanting sex and I don't want to 🙁 I've never wanted to be back to myself so bad. Thank you so much for your advice.

@chill28, I am veering off topic for this response, but I want to say that the fatigue and tiredness are overwhelming and they do take control of you. I remember being so worn out, that I could hardly go about my daily routines. I even remember giving thanks that breathing was an automatic action because I don't think I could have continued it if it took any effort on my part.
Rosemary

I am waiting for a Kidney also. I have so much fatigue and like you are tired all the time. I have a partner but i have had no sex drive for two years. It is affecting my relationship. Some days are good most are days when I am so tired.

@rosemarya When I got that fatigued (I would have to stop on my way up the stairs) my blood tests showed dangerously low hemoglobin and hematocrits. They called from MGH and told me to get to the closest hospital immediately, not to take the drive into Boston. We did go to our local hospital. The doctor there said my counts were so low I could have had cardiac arrest. I presume that is why they did not want my husband driving me to Boston, in case I did have a problem. My local hospital sent me by ambulance to MGH. I actually felt fine other than tired so I had a nice conversation with the EMT on the way.

When they called I had my sister and her husband here for dinner. One of the doctors in Boston said if her counts had been that low she would not have been entertaining, she would have been flat on her back. It was an easy dinner. 😉 I was in for a couple of days while they gave me transfusions and tried to determine any particular reason why the counts were so low.
JK