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My heart aches for you. I have a close friend who felt just as you do. She found a therapist (at long last) that she trusted and was able to realize that she needed long term medication and she is so much better. I have been on several meds over the last 25 years and I understand that I am not addicted but that I need them just as I need my blood pressure meds. Given the choice, I would rather not have to take all these meds but I have come to understand that I need them to live and to function. I pray that you can find a therapist AND a doctor--tell them right off that you feel guilty about talking about yourself and I hope that they will help you with that issue. I hope that you can come to the same good place that my friend and I have found. We know that life isn't easy ever but it is doable and there can be moments of joy.

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Replies to "My heart aches for you. I have a close friend who felt just as you do...."

You are so right about life-long meds. Would a diabetic stop taking insulin for fear of becoming addicted? Of course not! No different with mental health medications. Some of us have to take them to function.

I totally agree. See my reply below. Good luck.

You are totally needing life-long medication.

It is true that some people with SEVERE depression may need very long term medication as part of their treatment but this is not normally the case for mild to moderate depression as I understand it. Furthermore medication alone is not normally enough, lifestyle changes including healthy eating/exercise/social interactions are also needed. Many people (of which I am one) find that exercise and mindful meditation is essential for minimizing depression and anxiety. I would also add, respectfully, that comparing the use of psychoactive drugs to a need for insulin is evading the issue. Insulin is a hormone needed in part to metabolize carbohydrates/fats which is a relatively simple and well understood process. Antidepressants of different types affect highly complex brain chemistry in different ways that are not completely understood. And unlike insuin they have a whole host of potential CNS side affects including the potential for habituation or even addiction, especially the benzodiazapines such as xanax, ativan, klonipin and vallium. It is all to easy for a doctor to write a script for a "mental health drug" and it is indeed often a required first step.....motivating patients to adopt essential lifestyle changes however must be much more difficult. I was lucky.

Thank you. I know I should be on medication and I have had problems with some that made it worse. That maybe why I am so hesitant to stay on any of them. I will keep trying to find a doctor I feel comfortable with.

Thank you for your advise. I am taking everybody information into consideration. I want to change the way I am living but raising a 3 yr old is limiting me into taking care of me I guess. I want to make sure she is taken care of first and then hopefully I can work on me. I am happy my granddaugher is happy for sure. She is a blessing.