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Helping Family Understand your Automimmune Disease
Autoimmune Diseases | Last Active: Mar 17, 2018 | Replies (30)Comment receiving replies
I guess what am really trying to say is that the phone works both ways. My family knows where i live and they got my number. I guess I dont understand why they choose to be so distant. Half of my family does not know I have heart disease and the other half doesnt want to be bothered by it. my sister Rose, well that is a story in its self. I just wish it was like years ago when my parents were alive. we were all close then. now everyone is out for themselves. Either to busy or working long hours. Just to pick up the phone and say HELLO would be nice. I have tried to at least keep the family together but it didnt do any good. Thank you for reading this. Trudy
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I love MLK's quote. AMEN!!! I think people who tend to fall away have fear; also people just don't want to hear it - very sad, but true.
Having gone through illness with my parents and now problems of my own, I always try to reach out to help - but you have to know your own boundaries.
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Hello @badboys1965 I am Scott and was the primary caregiver for my wife during her war with brain cancer. I am sorry to read of your challenges with family during your illness. It brought back many difficult and challenging memories!
At my desk I have the quote by Dr. Martin Luther King "In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends." As a caregiver nothing is truer to me than this quote!
I also have written down and taped on the wall a comment made by a good friend of our daughter's, who lost her mom. Early on she told our daughter "Prepare yourself. You will be shocked by who is silent during your journey and even more shocked by the few who stay with you." Again incredibly true in our case.
I won't go into much detail, but I have two sisters, each of whom NEVER stepped foot in our home, called, or wrote during the 14+ years of my wife's war! My wife had five siblings and only one of them stayed in touch with me. Friends of 40+ years also vanished, Two friends stayed in close touch and they were not at all the ones my wife and I would have ever guessed world have!
I have no answer for why this happens to so many. My only guess is some simply lack any feelings of empathy. With others perhaps it is 'out of sight out of mind', which is a simpler, less painful way to live when someone you know is suffering.
If I had a penny for each time someone said to me 'take care of yourself' while I was a caregiver, but then did nothing I'd be a very rich man! If I had a nickel for each time someone said 'let me help' I'd maybe have a quarter. 🙂
I send you courage, strength, and peace!