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Helping Family Understand your Automimmune Disease
Autoimmune Diseases | Last Active: Mar 17, 2018 | Replies (30)Comment receiving replies
Hi, I am new to this group and would like too tell you about Family. My name is Trudy, am 46 years old and i have heart disease with a pace maker. A couple a months ago I was hospitalized for having a staff infection. I was in the hospital for 32 days. In and out of the ICU units and almost died. How should i put this, my family could of cared less. I dont get any phone calls to even see how am doing at home or if i could use some help. Thank god for my husband Mark for always being there. I have three brothers and three sisters and none of them even care, I had heart trouble for about 13 years now and the only one that stood with me was Mark. My older sister Rose lives in the same complex as we do. I have not talked to her in months. Rose was very mean to me and said to me that she wished I would have a short life. well, I almost did . To tell you the truth my whole family doesnt even believe i have any problems with my heart.I had try calling them and that would just get me more upset. They dont call me at xmas or any other holiday. In matter of fact Mark and I dont even get invited. I spent a couple of holidays in the hospital and didnt get a visitor or even a phone call. Mark says i have to move on without them in my life. Maybe he is right.I dont need the stress that is for sure. I have cried and cried over them and it didnt get me very far. I really dont believe that things will get better with all of them. So, am going to try to move on with out them. With warm thoughts, Trudy
Replies to "Hi, I am new to this group and would like too tell you about Family. My..."
@Dear gman:, i think you are so right. LONELINESS (to me) is the biggest number one hurtful way to suffer and die It is a torture of the mind and of the body. Peach
Agreed! Suggestions - get a ride to a nursing home and volunteer, the residents sometimes have no one and really appreciate the company for a little while. And it helps take one's mind off one's own probs., volunteering.
@Dear Stressed, in the recent past i have been a volunteer for many of my cities departments. Am still for one. Now at age 80 I can stay at home (i live alone) AND TAKE CARE OF MY saved ANIMALS. NOW, 2 CATS and 2 dogs. Most of the family and friends are upstairs (in heaven) waiting for me. My desire is to stay home and hopefully not have to be in s nursing home with 2 pinched nerves in my neck, one pinched nerve in my lumber spine and two lumbar disks bulging. I guess the pain is just another person talking to me. I will still smile and play the music. It is good to see you are helping with your suggestions and i thank you for that. Peach
I understand, Trudy. My late husband was in the hospital for 6 weeks before he passed away, and not one of his eight brothers or sisters that all lived nearby came to see him. Unfortunately for them, in later years four of his siblings also came to have the same type of cancer as he did. They endured the trials of fighting the cancer their brother did, but I am thankful that one of them survived and became caring and compassionate after their ordeal. I don't wish bad for others, but sometimes I'm afraid in order to feel beyond themselves, there are some people that have to walk in another's shoes to awaken their hearts. Try not to dwell on those that have hurt you. I feel badly that my husband was treated this way by his family, but I do not dwell on it and have long-moved on and do not spend time on people and actions that I couldn't then, and can't now change. My best wishes and prayers for you.
@cherriann, Thank you for your prayers and understanding. MY husband Mark said almost the same thing to me the other day.I guess I have been holding on for to long for them to come around. Am trying my best to let things go and it is getting better everyday that goes by. Thanks again for the prayers. Trudy
Yes, loneliness is very sad. If you can, there are many self-help groups and fun non-stressful activities that may be nearby. I, too, suffer from loneliness at times but I distract myself by watching learning programs on tv or just some stupid-like cartoon! That is not to say you're wallowing in despair. I can honestly say I'm not a "joiner" for all things.
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@First, welcome and I hope you feel like the response you get here is born of caring and truly wanting to help others with things we have experienced. I am very sorry for your lack of familial support; I have never known anything like that as My extended family on my mother's side makes up for the complete "it is all about me" from the other side of my family. My wife's extended family shows much greater concern for me than anyone from my Father's side. So, I guess I lied when I said I don't know anything about abandonment, but I guess I have never really thought too much about it because the other extended family has more than compensated. I am also glad you have your husband and I get the same support from my wife when I need some caretaking and she does so much else also; my Wonder Woman! All I would know to suggest is to try to find community where you are that may take the place of your family, but I know there will still be a hurt there that just won't go away.