Has anyone else given up?

Posted by Parus @parus, Feb 18, 2018

Curious.

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@jimhd

@parus

I've given up on life in the past. As a Christian, giving up is one step in releasing control of my life - I wasn't doing well at that - giving the control to a God I've learned to be faithful in love, in patience, in providing, and faithful in other ways. In one respect, giving up is a healing process. I know from experience that there's another side of giving up that's not at all healthy. And there are lots of things that are best given up - unhealthy habits and attitudes and such. I've found that giving up some things has been difficult, but with the help of a therapist it's been possible to recognize what I needed to give up.

Jim

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Jim, your posts re always filled with wisdom. I am new to this, so I apprecite them so much. Earlier in life, I believed that I had that ".. peace that passeth all understanding" as I had turned over the most important issues in my life over to God. I felt that peace until the day I learned that one of my children had begun a life long struggle with substance addiction during which another child (wonderful college age child) very unexpectedly took his own life. You may have read about this on a different post. Now, after all the prayer and peace that I felt when I turned them over to His protection, and after what ultimately has happened, I have not found that peace again. Now I find guilt. Just this weekend I heard two pastors talking about pain in life being "correction" and "refinement" for us. That just heaps loads of guilt upon me. Now, I have developed a condition that is terrible painful with physical pain. I just cannot understand any more. So, yes, it is so easy to think about giving up. I just have to keep moving forward, every day, step by step. I suppose I will never understand this side of eternity.

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@bonnieh218

You can’t. It’s extremely hard but keep trying to move ahead. I’m going through a flare up that started in November and it’s still raging. I use Voltaren gel and Tylenol which eases it a bit. Visiting my Pain Clinic at Mayo in March.

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Thank you for the information. I am sorry for your friend. I hope Mayo was able to help her.
No, I haven't had my doc call, but it is something I will discuss with him when I see him next.

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@jdrhoads

It is so challenging, but you have to fight the urge to give up. I've been there so many times, times that honestly I curled up in a ball and cried thinking that there was no way that I could continue to fight the disease. But in each instance I realize that the disease is winning, and I refuse to allow that to happen. Yes its tough, and certainly a roller coaster ride of emotions, not just for me but my family and friends as well. Don't give up Parus, keep the faith and continue to find ways to overcome the urge to quit, and if that means professional help please do so. It took me far too long to realize that just having someone to vent with, as well as be provided insight and suggestions on how to cope was long overdue. My pain psychologist is the absolute best at what he does, and is the one who has helped me maintain my sanity through my personal journey.

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It's time for me to see my pain Dr.after my back fracture I started going then moved out of state but the Rheumatologist put a referral in for me ,it does help so press the issue with your PCP.Good luck

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@jimhd

@parus

I've given up on life in the past. As a Christian, giving up is one step in releasing control of my life - I wasn't doing well at that - giving the control to a God I've learned to be faithful in love, in patience, in providing, and faithful in other ways. In one respect, giving up is a healing process. I know from experience that there's another side of giving up that's not at all healthy. And there are lots of things that are best given up - unhealthy habits and attitudes and such. I've found that giving up some things has been difficult, but with the help of a therapist it's been possible to recognize what I needed to give up.

Jim

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Bax
I am so sorry for your loss! As a parent and grandparent I can only imagine the pain you must feel. Parenting is the most difficult job. We are not taught or trained to be a parent. We can only love our children and do our best and pray that they grow up happy and well adjusted.. I certainly understand the guilt and I am sure I'd feel the same.

As far as pain, it is not unusual for emotional pain to cause physical pain. I hope you have looked into getting some emotional counseling or to join a support group.

Prayers to you!
ronnie

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@grandmar

Parus,
I hope you are not giving up! I know how difficult chronic pain can be and giving up seems the answer, but it isn't. Think of your family and friends, they can be a great comfort.
It is not unusual for people with chronic pain to become depressed. Why don't you see if you can find a therapist to work with you during your flare ups.
Good luck!
ronnie

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Please don't give up talking is very helpful ,this website has alot of good information on it and people who care ❤ I for one have found solice in our conversations ,someone may strike a chord with you so keep on keeping on there is a reason

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My Chiari has reared its ugly head again, causing me heart problems, tachycardia! I had my surgery 19 years ago and wanted to put that horrid experience behind me! Wearing the halo brace, the pain when the tonsil fell, all of it. Right before Irma hit Florida, the pain/pressure began getting worse again! At the present time, my cardiologist found that an artery is being pinched at the site of my surgery (cerebellum). So now I have heart issues on top of everything else. At what point do you say no more! My PCP doctor has recommended that I come to the Mayo Clinic to be evaluated for my Chiari Malformation and the issues associated with it soon! I don' t know what to do! I am not a quitter and have fought this for so long! Can you provide me any advise? I live about four hours from the Jacksonville clinic. How can I go about being seen and my symptoms addressed while I am there? My doctor said he would forward all required information and make contact with you.

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@oh_suzie_q

My Chiari has reared its ugly head again, causing me heart problems, tachycardia! I had my surgery 19 years ago and wanted to put that horrid experience behind me! Wearing the halo brace, the pain when the tonsil fell, all of it. Right before Irma hit Florida, the pain/pressure began getting worse again! At the present time, my cardiologist found that an artery is being pinched at the site of my surgery (cerebellum). So now I have heart issues on top of everything else. At what point do you say no more! My PCP doctor has recommended that I come to the Mayo Clinic to be evaluated for my Chiari Malformation and the issues associated with it soon! I don' t know what to do! I am not a quitter and have fought this for so long! Can you provide me any advise? I live about four hours from the Jacksonville clinic. How can I go about being seen and my symptoms addressed while I am there? My doctor said he would forward all required information and make contact with you.

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@oh_suzie_q I drive four hours to get to the Rochester clinic in MN. Call the General Internal Medicine dept. to make an appointment. They will assign you to a Mayo Health Care Team for your first visit. You talk to this first PA telling him/her ALL of your problems and concerns. They will determine and make their reccomendations on which tests and which doctors you should see. They will set up all appointments for you from here on in. Depending on your needs and test results, this could take a few days or a few weeks. This sounds simple and it really is. If you are upfront with them they will turn over every stone. I can speak to this from my personal experiences with Mayo for over thirty years and continuing. I hope this is what you were asking and wish you the best.

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@oh_suzie_q

My Chiari has reared its ugly head again, causing me heart problems, tachycardia! I had my surgery 19 years ago and wanted to put that horrid experience behind me! Wearing the halo brace, the pain when the tonsil fell, all of it. Right before Irma hit Florida, the pain/pressure began getting worse again! At the present time, my cardiologist found that an artery is being pinched at the site of my surgery (cerebellum). So now I have heart issues on top of everything else. At what point do you say no more! My PCP doctor has recommended that I come to the Mayo Clinic to be evaluated for my Chiari Malformation and the issues associated with it soon! I don' t know what to do! I am not a quitter and have fought this for so long! Can you provide me any advise? I live about four hours from the Jacksonville clinic. How can I go about being seen and my symptoms addressed while I am there? My doctor said he would forward all required information and make contact with you.

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This maybe the answer you are looking for,can,t hurt

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@jimhd

@parus

I've given up on life in the past. As a Christian, giving up is one step in releasing control of my life - I wasn't doing well at that - giving the control to a God I've learned to be faithful in love, in patience, in providing, and faithful in other ways. In one respect, giving up is a healing process. I know from experience that there's another side of giving up that's not at all healthy. And there are lots of things that are best given up - unhealthy habits and attitudes and such. I've found that giving up some things has been difficult, but with the help of a therapist it's been possible to recognize what I needed to give up.

Jim

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@tbaxter33

I think there are different levels of peace. We have peace of mind when life is good. Peace as a fruit of the Spirit is what I have regardless what's happening. Even during my deepest depression, I still was aware of peace. I knew that God would never abandon me, and knowing that He's always with me left me with peace. It didn't eliminate the pain. I wish it had. I think I can say that peace is pretty much a constant.

I don't quite know how to verbalize what I'm thinking. I blame that on being tired and the meds I take. I'll be glad when I'm totally off Gabapentin.

Jim

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@jimhd

@parus

I've given up on life in the past. As a Christian, giving up is one step in releasing control of my life - I wasn't doing well at that - giving the control to a God I've learned to be faithful in love, in patience, in providing, and faithful in other ways. In one respect, giving up is a healing process. I know from experience that there's another side of giving up that's not at all healthy. And there are lots of things that are best given up - unhealthy habits and attitudes and such. I've found that giving up some things has been difficult, but with the help of a therapist it's been possible to recognize what I needed to give up.

Jim

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The reverse can also be true with pain. This has been my experience. Guilt is a ferocious beast and something that can cheat us out of many things. The decisions others make is not a result of our failing in some way. Easy to type these words and not easy to believe them most of the time.
A suicide is a difficult act to live through. My father took his own life and the guilt still rears its ugly head. There is a good support online support group. Contact me in a PM and I will give the info.

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