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Parus
@parus

Posts: 1278
Joined: Jul 14, 2017

Has anyone else given up?

Posted by @parus, Sun, Feb 18 6:01am

Curious.

Liked by grandmaR

REPLY

You can’t. It’s extremely hard but keep trying to move ahead. I’m going through a flare up that started in November and it’s still raging. I use Voltaren gel and Tylenol which eases it a bit. Visiting my Pain Clinic at Mayo in March.

It is so challenging, but you have to fight the urge to give up. I've been there so many times, times that honestly I curled up in a ball and cried thinking that there was no way that I could continue to fight the disease. But in each instance I realize that the disease is winning, and I refuse to allow that to happen. Yes its tough, and certainly a roller coaster ride of emotions, not just for me but my family and friends as well. Don't give up Parus, keep the faith and continue to find ways to overcome the urge to quit, and if that means professional help please do so. It took me far too long to realize that just having someone to vent with, as well as be provided insight and suggestions on how to cope was long overdue. My pain psychologist is the absolute best at what he does, and is the one who has helped me maintain my sanity through my personal journey.

@jdrhoads

It is so challenging, but you have to fight the urge to give up. I've been there so many times, times that honestly I curled up in a ball and cried thinking that there was no way that I could continue to fight the disease. But in each instance I realize that the disease is winning, and I refuse to allow that to happen. Yes its tough, and certainly a roller coaster ride of emotions, not just for me but my family and friends as well. Don't give up Parus, keep the faith and continue to find ways to overcome the urge to quit, and if that means professional help please do so. It took me far too long to realize that just having someone to vent with, as well as be provided insight and suggestions on how to cope was long overdue. My pain psychologist is the absolute best at what he does, and is the one who has helped me maintain my sanity through my personal journey.

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Not really a giving up for me. More an accepting that there are some things that can be helped or even fixed. Also other things that cannot be. changed or fixed. Speaking only from my own experience to continue believing things will get better is unrealistic. Best I can do is do "my" best. "My" best may not be someone else's best. I am thankful for those who have been helped and not harmed.

@parus, I think you are correct with your last post. Most of us know that we can not do what we once could, but I couldn't do at 40 what I could do at 20, but I could do a lot at 40 that I could not do at 20. We all have experiences to share that have hopefully generated a little wisdom and discernment and that does not lose it's value until we stop sharing it even if we can't do the physical things we once did. I think life is all about new seasons and with them come new expectations and only those like Zuckerburg (sp?)(Facebook CEO) who think their fortune will find them a way to live to 140, we have to accept those changes. I am not yet convinced that they are all bad unless we only see the negative in the changes. @parus, you just keep sharing with us and that will not be giving up!

@parus

I've given up on life in the past. As a Christian, giving up is one step in releasing control of my life – I wasn't doing well at that – giving the control to a God I've learned to be faithful in love, in patience, in providing, and faithful in other ways. In one respect, giving up is a healing process. I know from experience that there's another side of giving up that's not at all healthy. And there are lots of things that are best given up – unhealthy habits and attitudes and such. I've found that giving up some things has been difficult, but with the help of a therapist it's been possible to recognize what I needed to give up.

Jim

@bonnieh218

You can’t. It’s extremely hard but keep trying to move ahead. I’m going through a flare up that started in November and it’s still raging. I use Voltaren gel and Tylenol which eases it a bit. Visiting my Pain Clinic at Mayo in March.

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Bonnieh
So sorry you are currently going through a flare up.
If you don't mind me asking, HOW did you get an appointment with a pain doc at Mayo?? And, which Mayo do you go to??
Thanks and BEST of luck!
ronnie

Parus,
I hope you are not giving up! I know how difficult chronic pain can be and giving up seems the answer, but it isn't. Think of your family and friends, they can be a great comfort.
It is not unusual for people with chronic pain to become depressed. Why don't you see if you can find a therapist to work with you during your flare ups.
Good luck!
ronnie

@gman007

@parus, I think you are correct with your last post. Most of us know that we can not do what we once could, but I couldn't do at 40 what I could do at 20, but I could do a lot at 40 that I could not do at 20. We all have experiences to share that have hopefully generated a little wisdom and discernment and that does not lose it's value until we stop sharing it even if we can't do the physical things we once did. I think life is all about new seasons and with them come new expectations and only those like Zuckerburg (sp?)(Facebook CEO) who think their fortune will find them a way to live to 140, we have to accept those changes. I am not yet convinced that they are all bad unless we only see the negative in the changes. @parus, you just keep sharing with us and that will not be giving up!

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Thank you! Very well said and a good reminder for us all!
ronnie

@bonnieh218

You can’t. It’s extremely hard but keep trying to move ahead. I’m going through a flare up that started in November and it’s still raging. I use Voltaren gel and Tylenol which eases it a bit. Visiting my Pain Clinic at Mayo in March.

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@grandmar
I live in MN and I go to Mayo Clinic in Rochester. I have been a patient there for 35 years. I have annual appointments with them so whenever something new pops up they send me to the right department to take care of that particular problem.
They are soooooo overwhelmed with people wanting appointments at all of their major clinics that there could be an extremely long wait before actually getting in.
I have a friend with cancer. She was hospitalized in our home town hospital in September for three weeks. Her doctor referred her to Mayo, calling Mayo himself. She was transferred that night from our hospital to the Mayo hospital in Rochester. Have you asked your doctor to help with a referral?

@bonnieh218

You can’t. It’s extremely hard but keep trying to move ahead. I’m going through a flare up that started in November and it’s still raging. I use Voltaren gel and Tylenol which eases it a bit. Visiting my Pain Clinic at Mayo in March.

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I live in Oklahoma and that would be a big expense. I will see what the neurologist says when I ask him. I just didn't connect feet with him. I thought him more for brain. Thank you for the information.

@jimhd

@parus

I've given up on life in the past. As a Christian, giving up is one step in releasing control of my life – I wasn't doing well at that – giving the control to a God I've learned to be faithful in love, in patience, in providing, and faithful in other ways. In one respect, giving up is a healing process. I know from experience that there's another side of giving up that's not at all healthy. And there are lots of things that are best given up – unhealthy habits and attitudes and such. I've found that giving up some things has been difficult, but with the help of a therapist it's been possible to recognize what I needed to give up.

Jim

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Jim, your posts re always filled with wisdom. I am new to this, so I apprecite them so much. Earlier in life, I believed that I had that ".. peace that passeth all understanding" as I had turned over the most important issues in my life over to God. I felt that peace until the day I learned that one of my children had begun a life long struggle with substance addiction during which another child (wonderful college age child) very unexpectedly took his own life. You may have read about this on a different post. Now, after all the prayer and peace that I felt when I turned them over to His protection, and after what ultimately has happened, I have not found that peace again. Now I find guilt. Just this weekend I heard two pastors talking about pain in life being "correction" and "refinement" for us. That just heaps loads of guilt upon me. Now, I have developed a condition that is terrible painful with physical pain. I just cannot understand any more. So, yes, it is so easy to think about giving up. I just have to keep moving forward, every day, step by step. I suppose I will never understand this side of eternity.

Liked by Parus, Lmnl09, grandmaR

@bonnieh218

You can’t. It’s extremely hard but keep trying to move ahead. I’m going through a flare up that started in November and it’s still raging. I use Voltaren gel and Tylenol which eases it a bit. Visiting my Pain Clinic at Mayo in March.

Jump to this post

Thank you for the information. I am sorry for your friend. I hope Mayo was able to help her.
No, I haven't had my doc call, but it is something I will discuss with him when I see him next.

@jdrhoads

It is so challenging, but you have to fight the urge to give up. I've been there so many times, times that honestly I curled up in a ball and cried thinking that there was no way that I could continue to fight the disease. But in each instance I realize that the disease is winning, and I refuse to allow that to happen. Yes its tough, and certainly a roller coaster ride of emotions, not just for me but my family and friends as well. Don't give up Parus, keep the faith and continue to find ways to overcome the urge to quit, and if that means professional help please do so. It took me far too long to realize that just having someone to vent with, as well as be provided insight and suggestions on how to cope was long overdue. My pain psychologist is the absolute best at what he does, and is the one who has helped me maintain my sanity through my personal journey.

Jump to this post

It's time for me to see my pain Dr.after my back fracture I started going then moved out of state but the Rheumatologist put a referral in for me ,it does help so press the issue with your PCP.Good luck

@jimhd

@parus

I've given up on life in the past. As a Christian, giving up is one step in releasing control of my life – I wasn't doing well at that – giving the control to a God I've learned to be faithful in love, in patience, in providing, and faithful in other ways. In one respect, giving up is a healing process. I know from experience that there's another side of giving up that's not at all healthy. And there are lots of things that are best given up – unhealthy habits and attitudes and such. I've found that giving up some things has been difficult, but with the help of a therapist it's been possible to recognize what I needed to give up.

Jim

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Bax
I am so sorry for your loss! As a parent and grandparent I can only imagine the pain you must feel. Parenting is the most difficult job. We are not taught or trained to be a parent. We can only love our children and do our best and pray that they grow up happy and well adjusted.. I certainly understand the guilt and I am sure I'd feel the same.

As far as pain, it is not unusual for emotional pain to cause physical pain. I hope you have looked into getting some emotional counseling or to join a support group.

Prayers to you!
ronnie

@grandmar

Parus,
I hope you are not giving up! I know how difficult chronic pain can be and giving up seems the answer, but it isn't. Think of your family and friends, they can be a great comfort.
It is not unusual for people with chronic pain to become depressed. Why don't you see if you can find a therapist to work with you during your flare ups.
Good luck!
ronnie

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Please don't give up talking is very helpful ,this website has alot of good information on it and people who care ❤ I for one have found solice in our conversations ,someone may strike a chord with you so keep on keeping on there is a reason

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