@theotherone Many of us here can grasp what you are saying. I know I have been terribly down for quite some time. I am sad you are experiencing the same. It is a bummer when it seems no one near us cares. People are busy. those who do not experience depression cannot "get it" and oft feel helpless and also wonder why we do not just snap out of it. Good to hear from you.

We care about you. It is great that we all have each other so we are not ever completely alone. Have you thought about calling a distress line (if there is one you can access). Believe me, there are more people there who will care about you too. It is totally confidential and you can use an assumed name.
Best wishes ,
Ainsleigh

Hi, @theotherone -- absolutely remember you. Great to hear from you. That is really tough that your mind is feeling blurred and can't think well from your depression.

Sorry that visiting your psychiatrist does not seem to do any good -- that's very unfortunate. Would it be possible for you to look for another psychiatrist?

@parus @ainsleigh @lisalucier thank you all for your kind words. I feel so alone with my feelings sometimes. Those who never experienced depression can't understand it. Advices that I should overcome it do not help.
My psychiatrist is not interested to help. When I am there, she mostly talks about herself or gives general advices without asking me anything. And I am really not motivated to go there. I will try to find another psychiatrist, but it is so hard to find a good one.
I remember writing to Samaritans long time ago. We exchanged few emails. I can write them again. Thank you for your patience with me.

Hi, @theotherone -- please know you are not alone -- it definitely seems you have members here who care about you and are ready to talk to you when you'd like to chat. I do think it's hard for people who have never had depression to really grasp it, so having others you can talk to who "get it" is a great thing.

I think your thinking in terms of finding another psychiatrist seems wise. Would be great to have support and engagement.

Just so I understand, did Samaritan's have psychiatrist referrals available when you spoke to them before?

@lisalucier they didn't, they just offer anonymous help through talking, later I found this psychiatrist by myself, obvously not good choice. All good doctors have many patients and can't accept more.

@theotherone -- the Samaritans service sounds like perhaps a good addition/ option in the meantime. Thoughts?

I'd sure encourage you to not give up finding the right psychiatrist for you. When we changed medical centers due to my husband's taking a new job and having different benefits a number of years ago, I was assigned a provider, and it wasn't a good fit for me. I met a couple others in the practice I really liked when they subbed for my provider over time, and I eventually convinced one of them to put me on her waiting list. She also agreed to more or less "adopt me" as her patient in the meantime.

I am so glad I persisted, as my new PCP had been extremely wonderful and a great fit.