1. < Neuropathy

Time to give up? Mourn and accept new health reality?

Posted by keeptrying @keeptrying, Jan 31, 2018

As each day brings new limitations, I think it is irrational for me to continue to reach out to sustain the way of life I had. Is it really that bad to retreat to the world of books,gardening,music,etc instead of an outward looking way of life?

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Neuropathy Support Group.

Mentor
Jim, Volunteer Mentor | @jimhd | Feb 4, 2018
In reply to @jimhd "@keeptrying I think that it can be healthy to have times of solitude. My wife and..." + (show)
@jimhd

@keeptrying

I think that it can be healthy to have times of solitude. My wife and I live out in the country, and most days don't see another person. When weather and health permit, I'm outside in the yard and gardens. No one bothers me then. Generally, I feel better about life during those times. My service dog is never far away from me for very long. She always comes to check on me, and sometimes will lie in the grass and watch me.

I think I know myself enough to know that it's helpful to me to reach out to others. I visit a woman who just celebrated her 104th birthday. I don't know which of us looks forward to those weekly visits more. She's a treasure trove of interesting experiences. She loves that I can look up events and locations on my phone.

Lots of people don't like to be alone. They are happiest in a group of people. Not I.

I say, enjoy your alone time while you can.

Jim

Jump to this post

@keeptrying

I'm glad you work with hospice. I was a volunteer visitor for several years with the local hospice, but I had to resign not too long ago because they made new guidelines and I didn't want to make my service dog a therapy dog. My dog is always with me, and all the patients I visited looked forward to seeing her as much as seeing me. There were a few places my dog didn't go because of other pets in the home, but otherwise I never had a patient who didn't want to see both of us. I was sorry to have to give up my job. I enjoy visiting people. It's good therapy for me, almost as much as for them.

Jim

REPLY
superwife | @superwife | Feb 23, 2018

I'm 87 & have had a very trying 6 mos - husband with broken hip & me with a number of coincident difficulties. And no - it isn't bad to go to where you find peace & comfort. You may want to add a few trusted friends to your mix of books & music & gardening. Wish I knew you - I'm in similar space right now - but not unhappy except when I can't get pain under control. (still working on that) Shalom Superwife.

REPLY
keeptrying | @keeptrying | Mar 5, 2018
In reply to @gman007 "I don't remember who is credited with saying it before Clint Eastwood, but one has to..." + (show)
@gman007

I don't remember who is credited with saying it before Clint Eastwood, but one has to know their limitations. I believe it is fine to know your comfort zone and if opportunities arise that allow you to enlarge it a bit and you are able to take them, that is perfectly fine. If one attempts to do something or yearn for something that is simply no longer possible, then it may be time to mourn that friend and move on. Before I was diagnosed with chronic pancreatitis, I was at the gym every morning at 5AM for 90 minutes and no longer am able to do that and I miss the workouts, and the friends I had there, but it is simply not going to happen in the same way again. I still try to workout at home when I am able and motivated, but that leaves out the friends part, but it is simply what I am able to do and I accept that. I don't think that is the same as "giving up".

Jump to this post

I just read this post again today. How grateful I am for this site when I get to it. Your posting in particular was very kind and had a little bit of the "Snap out of it!" moment that is instructive. I have been doing the battle of acceptance vs giving up for too long ( according to friends,lucky) and I take it seriously. I am learning too slowly! The measure of our value is not ten,twenty plus years ago. It is today. Today someone helped me, more importantly I managed to help someone else. Grateful to hear your voice.

REPLY
keeptrying | @keeptrying | Mar 15, 2018

I will leave this site today . At 59, as I watch my legs and hands disappear, I am retreating to my photography, few friends and meds. I have found that tramadol let's me lift my legs and klonopi n helps them both smoothly on a good day. I know I will be in a wheelchair 65 to 68. This is death . I will find what not I can til then. This site searches for solutions that do not exist. Goodbye Mayo.

REPLY
amyabi | @amyabi | Mar 1, 2022

If you happen to have more right side damage, it is easier to accept. Generally people live without knowing the pain of untold proportions. Left side and Frontal Lobe damage have differences. I have a Diffuse Axonal Brain Injury. again it is as different as your brain injury.

I am thrilled for you if you don’t grieve.

REPLY
kbirchem | @kbirchem | Mar 3, 2022

You have to do what you are able to do. I have to push myself everyday to get our of the house every day.

REPLY
obackus | @obackus | Mar 4, 2022

Some days that is easier said then done!

REPLY
windsorchris | @windsorchris | Mar 5, 2022
In reply to @johnbishop "@keeptrying I'm with @oldkarl. It can be depressing to look back at what was instead of..." + (show)
@johnbishop

@keeptrying I'm with @oldkarl. It can be depressing to look back at what was instead of looking forward with what is. Life really is about changes and how we react to the changes. Me, I hate change. I hate that I can't walk more than a few blocks and then it's a struggle but I just try to do the best I can and work on seeing if I can go a little further each day. I think it's always a good thing to reach out and see if there are ways or treatments you can do to help with your current health problems. Each of us are unique and there just maybe that one thing out there that will help. I have resigned myself to never being able to run but then I couldn't run very fast even as a kid. Now I'm the guy you want to be with if a bear is chasing you. All you have to do is outrun me which is not too hard to do. ☺

Do you have any hobbies that you enjoy that you can do? I like taking pictures of critters out of my window in the room where I have computer. Took this one yesterday - squirrel jumped on my bird feeder and ate most of a large bird seed wheel.

Hoping you have a pain free rest of the week.

John

Jump to this post

We have several all White Squirrels on our block! I feed them peanuts in their shells but causing quite a mess on the sidewalk. Still...worth it.

REPLY
raebaby | @raebaby | Mar 5, 2022

I have neuropathy in my feet from chemo. (Taxol) Some of us are loners and being around people doesn't matter so much. I'm lucky that I have friends and family that love me. I live out in the country alone and with numb feet can't drive. But, I know how lucky I am to have my view be of majestic oak trees and hills, humming birds and squirrels. I'm 80 and Gabapentin actually gives me happy flashes. Treatment for breast cancer was a bummer, but I feel lucky to still be here. I learned that coloring greeting cards with gel pens is so soothing; my cats drive me nuts jumping on my creations, but it is very enjoyable.

REPLY
1 reply
kbirchem | @kbirchem | Mar 5, 2022
In reply to @raebaby "I have neuropathy in my feet from chemo. (Taxol) Some of us are loners and being..." + (show)
@raebaby

I have neuropathy in my feet from chemo. (Taxol) Some of us are loners and being around people doesn't matter so much. I'm lucky that I have friends and family that love me. I live out in the country alone and with numb feet can't drive. But, I know how lucky I am to have my view be of majestic oak trees and hills, humming birds and squirrels. I'm 80 and Gabapentin actually gives me happy flashes. Treatment for breast cancer was a bummer, but I feel lucky to still be here. I learned that coloring greeting cards with gel pens is so soothing; my cats drive me nuts jumping on my creations, but it is very enjoyable.

Jump to this post

I have a lake home in the country . I love the view and the animals. You are a lucky lady. God bless you.

REPLY
View MoreView Less
Please sign in or register to post a reply.