Thank you. The doctors say the main thing is to start getting better now. The cause of your depression is secondary to your getting better. It’s not secondary to me. Also, “ Oh, I don’t know,what you’re talking about, but that was so long ago. Can’t you just get over it.” No I can’t just get over it. Time doesn’t help. I always feel like I stopped treatment yesterday even though it’s been 20 years. I can eat, I don’t have flulike symptoms anymore and with medication I can sleep, but the bad thoughts are constant. The few people I mention it to say “Everyone has days like that”. No they don’t. Thoughts of suicide plays like a loop. Over and over. Sometimes for days. I look at at some stuff on line and the questions are like “ How many times have you thought of suicide in the past week, once, twice? Or more. How about 1,000? It’s ongoing, it never stops. The medication allows me to function, but that’s about it.
Hear “Just be glad your cured”. No. I’m not. Interferon is the gift that keeps giving. Anyway, I don’t talk about it anymore, to anyone.