It seems that your shoes would be very hard to fill. I'm glad you have been able to see your children grow up and have their children. I hope you are resting a lot after going through your treatment, as long as it takes. I'm in a similar but different boat. I was given Tamoxifen to take for my hormone positive breast cancer. After 8 months it was discovered that I have a blood clot in the bottom of each lung from the Tamoxifen Now I'm on blood thinners with their side effects. I have an upcoming appointment with the cancer doctor who will be expecting me to now go on aromatase inhibitors. I'm not so sure. If I was young and had little kids maybe of course I might fight the cancer more. I have degenerative disc disease, fibromyalgia and arthritis I drink ginger tea which is supposed to affect BC stem cells. I guess the next ultrasound will tell me what is going on without Tamoxifen. I have been laid low several times with bad fibromyalgia attacks as well as feeling angry and depressed. I get over it by trying to get into fresh air and looking after our pets and the horses. I try to see our kids as often as possible and find the planning of our next meeting really helps me with incentive and trying. I expect that I will pass from this cancer once it spreads. But going through hell to stay alive doesn’t appeal to me. I have a lot of responsibilities and couldn't manage on the chemo and radiation therapy. The cancer pills brought me closer to death as I am closer to death now with the supposedly rare blood clots from the Tamoxifen. Being between a rock and a hard place with my choices, I have decided to hang on to my inner happiness as my life has been mostly nice. I never once imagined getting cancer nor making tough decisions about being on deadly treatment or just living life as I know it. I will be hoping to use the MAID euthanasia service when I get further along. In the meantime, please turn the music up because it's time to exercise and dance. I'm still alive and trying. Best wishes for everyone who is trying to get through something really hard. Focus on your own path because we all have different conditions. I hope I am not attacked for my view. It seems that I am the one living in this body but it doesn't stop people from criticism. Everything hurts when the fibromyalgia kicks up and my lungs aren't great. Sometimes you just think about the way out. I don't think about recovery like so many. But I still have happiness and a desire to help others.

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