@hopeful33250
Funny you should mention "Triggers". I had an abscess tooth the other day and couldn't get to the docs, it was Friday afternoon and didn't want to go to the ER as I'd been there twice already. At the Urgent Care Clinic on Monday morning they put a wrist band on me and then did whatever they do, gave me an antibiotic shot. They placed me in an opened (shrouded) area which faced the Nurse Station, so I was resting, waiting to see if I had any reaction to the shot. I noticed the Nurse Practioners name was the same as my X's as she'd changed her name back to her maiden name on the first day gone. With a swollen face, and In my painful delirium I asked the other Nurse why they put a "Trigger" word on my tag. "What do you mean?" Anyway I gave them some 'very dry humor lip' and I guess I shouldn't have because they were being real nice to me. The Nurse Practioner left the room, don't know if I offended her or not, but I guess they're used to grumps.
Later, after I was feeling better, I called to give them an insurance number they needed and I apologized.

Don't give friendly people any lip. "OK, I get it!"

Hi, @muppey -- just thinking of you and wondering how you are getting along. How is that tooth abscess you had?

lisalucier, Hi again. Things have been keeping me busy and trying to integrate into this new way of living. I haven't forgotten you guys, just things happen. Because I'm so distracted still I've been overlooking simple things like, the instrument panel on my Jeep was telling me to do some maintenance, I missed the cue and blew my engine. Lot's of dumb things I'm doing now while awaiting a new brain. Docs told me I'd have to work with the old one and most will return in due time.
It would be helpful if I had someone to coach me but now I find it a waste of time to attempt to discuss the situation, it goes past people and then they say, "Get over it!" I've only talked with a few people but it's still a waste. This site has been the most helpful in just allowing that things are never going to be the same and all of us here have to rebuild. Nothing new to mankind, just new to each of us.

Thanks for being here lisalucier, you people are great.

@muppey So good to hear from you!

Teresa

Hi, @muppey -- I'd echo @hopeful33250's sentiment. It's really great to hear from you. Not to worry about any passage of time here -- just glad you posted. I realize you've been busy and have had a lot on your plate with your wife leaving and making a new way of living. It's very understandable you'd be distracted and that this would be a long path to process all that's happened in your life and to grieve it all.

What you said about people telling you to "get over it" recently related to your wife suddenly leaving a few months back really reminds me of a recent post from @IndianaScott, https://mayocl.in/2L6Aup8. It was about grieving the loss of his wife and similar things people have (insensitively) said to him. Perhaps he will have some words of wisdom for your grieving process.

Glad that this site has been helpful and that you've liked the people.

You talked about feeling distracted, overlooking things and awaiting a new brain. Wondering if you are saying that due to all that's happened in your life, you are feeling a bit in a fog?

Hi, @muppey -- wanted to check in with you to see how things are going. How are you feeling these days?

lisalucier, Thanks for the note! It seems I've developed an "attitude" which puts people off, but I'll get over it, the VA is helping me with therapists, and now a psychiatrist I tele-conference with from Stanford U. They want me to recall different things and stuff which make me so defensive/offensive???
One thing occurred in the Army where a Sargent pulled a .45 pistol on me and pointed it at my face and pulled the trigger, I cursed him a lot. "It's not loaded!" Stupid person, all guns are loaded. Latter he was bothering me while I was sleeping, he started throwing darts at me and poking holes in the freshly painted walls above my head, I finally grabbed a dart and flung it at him, not like playing darts but like a weapon. The dart stuck in the wall right inches above his head, they left me alone as they determined I was upset. Could have gone to prison if my aim was better.
Anyway the docs want me to talk about the many "violent" episodes and other things in my life to figure "What is your main malfunction?" I'll get it!
Thanks for asking and maybe I'll come back to this site more often as it's helped a lot. Our divorce is final on the 27th.
Take Care!
Mark

@muppey Hi Mark:

While I know your post was directed to Lisa, I just wanted to stop in and say "hello." It is good to hear from you! I had also been thinking about you so I'm glad that you posted with an update. I'm pleased to hear that you are sticking with the therapy process (and it is a process as you well know). It sounds like you have the determination to make this work.

Calling up difficult memories from the past can be very unsettling, so I appreciate the hard work you are doing in that respect. Take it easy on yourself during this time. As you recall the difficult memories you need to be your own best friend.

You might consider keeping a journal with some of these memories. Sometimes it is easier to write about the tough stuff than it is to verbalize it.

Are you relieved that you are near the end of the divorce process? How does that feel for you?