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Teresa, Volunteer Mentor (@hopeful33250)

Loss and Grief: How are you doing?

Loss & Grief | Last Active: Mar 25, 2020 | Replies (843)

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Hi I lost my mum in August due to dementia she was the most precious person in my life I loved her so much I am struggling to come to terms with losing her I wasent there when she died but was staying not far from the home she was in I went to see her and I just cried mummy don’t leave me in December I tried to take my own life and still want to I can’t survive without her even though mum had dementia she still knew who I was the deteriation I saw wasent good she had stopped eating and drinking so couldn’t talk I told her everyday I was there that I loved her I’m missing her so much . My doctor has put me on these tablets but it’s not tablets I want it’s my mum she was 91 when she died (good age) but that doesn’t matter she was my mum (adopted by her when I was 12 but knew her at a nursery in London when I was 3 can’t help the way I feel

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Replies to "Hi I lost my mum in August due to dementia she was the most precious person..."

Hi, very sorry for your loss. I was just going to say that I've always liked things British. I was born and raised in Burlingame, CA, which is just south of San Francisco. I now live in the Sierra Foothills, Murphys, CA. I'm trying to get used to being alone after 22 years with Mary. Guess she just got tired of me. Making myself laugh for some reason. Guess it could be easy to get tired of me.
I was going to support you but I'm talking about myself.
It's been only a few months but are you doing a bit better or to early? Let me know.
My family came over here from England, both my Dad and Mom. Mom's family landed in Jamestown and Dad's landed in Delaware. Been watching British and Scottish bagpipes and drums, love the British marches with the bagpipes and precision and all that stuff.
I lost my brother Steve and because I was the one that noticed he needed some serious help and I drove three hundred miles to get him into the Veterans Hospital, he had a large brain tumor, (doctor in the mountains just told him he was depressed) did that twice. Last time was to take him to his final stop at the Veterans Hospice. He took me outside at my moms house and told me he was going to die in a few weeks and he wanted me to have his jeep and bank account. I still have the jeep and usually thank God and Steve for it when I get in there and drive, don't have anything else since Mary left. Really needed it as I've had to haul water to my home for four years because of drought in CA. Jeep is a 1990 model and going strong and really needed it to haul that water. Company water cost a lot of money. I have a shallow well.
I get carried away because I do.
Maybe it's because I used to write and have been published but nothing big. Have some poetry too. 'Bankers Gleam.' Maybe I should dig that out and start again as I've nothing else to do.
Don't know why I'm laughing but if you don't mind, thanks for being there. I laugh when I go to funny videos but not usually when I'm trying to be serious and hope you have found some peace by now, but everyone is different and that's ok. I looked up "How long should a person mourn". Anyway I think you should mourn for as long as it takes. I still think of my first wife, didn't want that divorce either, so mourn if you need and crying isn't weak, it's normal. Someone, I think Kathy, thought it was being weak, but whoever, I told her I'm a man and I cry and always thought I was strong until this happened.
Take care and get better, your mum will always be with you.
Guess I should hang up now. Drop a note and let us know how it's going there in London.