Hi Lisa .... oh, I'll get through it the same way I always have, except now I recognize the dissociation that I never realized before. I just "pretend" to be "fine" .... having fun, laughing, etc. After about 3 hours of this though, I go home totally exhausted .... it really wears me out to be so fake. And, oh, that Christmas music ..... I know lots of normal people love it, but to me it just brings sadness and more sadness. I can still see my mother - I was about 10 - throwing a plate with 2 waffles on it with syrup, at my Dad Christmas morning. The plate fell and broke, one of the waffles fell also, and the syrup-y one stuck to the wall and slowly slid down. That picture is indelibly carved into my brain. I'll get through it at my daughters ..... I have to.
abby

@amberpep Hi Abby,

I could wish for you to find a better way to get through the holiday. You are right about pretending - it does take a lot of energy and is very exhausting. Is it possible for you to stay for a shorter time period or are you obligated to stay for the whole day because of transportation needs?

Also, is it possible to decide, up front, that what happened when you were a child will not be happening again? It may take some mental effort to put those thoughts aside - but might it be worth a try?

Let us know if any of these ideas seem like they might work.

Teresa

Hi Teresa .... I do plan to leave waaaaay ahead of the others. I'm living in a new area and being totally directionally compromised (that's putting it mildly) I always leave so I will be home before dark. That's how I had the accident last week ..... it was dark (I left too late), raining, I got off at the wrong exit on the by-pass and that's all it took for me to be lost. And I turned around on what I thought was a gravel area, but the other half was grass ..... so my car just slid right into it! No, I'll be leaving very early this time.
abby