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@amberpep , Hi Abby, I'm so sorry to hear of your accident no matter how minor. They can all be traumatic. Am I correct in thinking you are devastated because you are missing your therapy appt? I have my first therapy appt on Dec 14 and I will have to miss it because of a cardiology appt the day before. I can only make one Dr appt per pay day, and I've waited so long for this appt. It's enough to make me cry. But what's more important cardiology or mental health? (crickets) I've been having heart palpitations with shortness of breath, and after a HA in 2016 I thought I'd better go see the heart Dr. More waiting for mental health. Abby, you are such an important person to this forum, I can't tell you. I try to read your posts whenever I can. You are so loved and cared about here...you are not the only one to dread the holidays. All I can do is dwell on the past and remember the holidays when my parents were still alive and my kids were young. My family consists of 3, me and my 2 kids. I have 2 brothers that live thousands f miles away, one I don't talk to, the other is my favorite, Davy. He is not doing well either, I will probably never see him again. My little family all have diabetes, and are all on antidepressants. My kids will never have children for various reasons. No grandchildren for me. I feel like such a failure as a mom. I made horrible mistakes as a mom. I am angry and so depressed that it's hard to get off the couch much less take a shower and get ready for an appt. Look, I was going to try and make you feel better and now I've blown it. I'm sorry Abby, take heart, Christmas will soon pass us by again. Sad in itself. Dany
Replies to "@amberpep , Hi Abby, I'm so sorry to hear of your accident no matter how minor...."
Hugs, Abby @amberpep.
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Hi dany .... your situation is so sad ..... why is there so much sadness and inward pain in us all? I know a lot of us were raised with a lot of abuse, had abusive marriages, but through it all we tried to do what was right ..... so why all this crap seemingly tossed in our laps? Yes, Christmas will soon be over and gone ..... this year because of my move, I will be spending it with my daughter and her family - they have 2 kids. I know a lot of you would love that, but for me, I'd just as soon be alone, ignore Christmas, and pretend it's any other day.
When I lived in MD, alone, that's what I did ..... just went about my day pretending Christmas "wasn't." Holidays are just so very hard, and now (I don't know if you read my recent post) my therapist in MD thinks I should find someone down here so I don't have to drive up there every other week - 3 hrs. So if I don't mind, why should he? He sure picked a good time to dump this on me. Much like you, I have 1 daughter who has 2 kids, another daughter, married but they don't want any children, and a son who at 34 is unmarried. Prospects for more grandkids don't look so good for me either.
Where are those "Norman Rockwell" families you see on calendars, etc? Do they exist? Did they ever exist? Or was that just a big fantasy too? I guess we're to just play the cards we're dealt ..... it's just hard to even play when you're down in a 5 ft. black hole. Take care my friend .... you've got a lot of company this Christmas ..... soon it'll all be over and Spring will come ......thank God.
Take care and be good to yourself today ..... you're worth it!
abby