Hi to everyone …. I suspect that what I’m going to say here affects a lot of you also. It is now Dec. 11 …. the beginning of that “wonderful, happy, joyous” Holiday Season. Well, I wish I could say that I enjoy Christmas, snow, cold weather, and everything that goes along with it ….. but I don’t. I dread this time of year …. starting in Fall when the leaves begin to turn, and it’s downhill from there. Christmas music, movies, decorations …. it all gives me a very hollow and sad feeling in the pit of my stomach. I just want it over. I moved 3 hours away from my therapist 2 years ago, and have been going up once a week, every other week, since then. I had a minor car accident last week, so I can’t drive up there this week. I wrote him and asked if there would be any time during the week we could just talk. No ….. he’s packed. Now I know that’s true, but at the same time it’s as if that little girl has been brushed aside, ignored, no time for her, too busy. Very much like when I was a child (an only child) …. just no time for that “rotten little SOB”. Now I won’t see him til Tues. Jan. 2, and I feel I am not going to make it til then. I’ve been seeing him for 12 years, sometimes daily, then 2x a week, and now since I’ve moved every other Tuesday. I count on that time because it’s as if I am affirmed that I AM a person of worth, value, and have something to offer. I know this may sound crazy to some of you, but I feel I’ve been kicked in the teeth ….. thrown away.
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