Hello, I am new here, but I have been on ambien every night for 20 years at 20 mg because I spent a year in and out of hospitals, including some of the top sleep hospitals in the U.S., and I was only getting 1-2 hours of sleep per night because of an unknown problem. I had multiple sleep studies. I also was tried on dozens of medications that didn't help. Ambien wound up putting me to sleep when even barbiturates wouldn't.

I have no psychiatric problems and am a very productive person with a stable career and a graduate degree. I have no history of any addictions at all, substance-based or otherwise. I am middle-aged, in reasonably good health, and married. The insomnia began abruptly, without reason. I would get tired but something woke me up every time I drifted off to sleep, and then again all night long. Before that, I didn't have a single night of sleep missed and was a world champion sleeper.

I went to the pharmacy today, and they simply said my prescription was too high and refused to fill it. Now I have no medication, and I called the doctor, and he doesn't have a way to help since the pharmacy said it was too high of a dose, and I don't have a clear diagnosis. He said he couldn't give me anything else because I'd already tried everything else. And also, he said other pharmacies in this area would be the same. He apologized and said he could help me through.

In the past, I have stayed up for up to five days or more and have had hallucinations and a psychotic breakdown from it that resulted in a very traumatic mental hospitalization, which is when this regimen was basically decided upon. But as long as I take my medication, I am okay and have been fine.

Can anyone recommend what I should do? I've already tried marijuana since it is legal in my state. I have tried drinking but can't tolerate much alcohol without getting sick. I have tried every medication I can humanly think of. I often try falling asleep for hours without ambien, and I practice excellent sleep hygeine. I meditate. I am really calm. But I was just cut off the medication cold turkey and fear the worst now.

And all that makes me really want is to know if anyone on a long-term high-dose of ambien has gotten off of it? I don't like being at the mercy of pharmacies. Doctors have been really compassionate as they see the situation very clearly, and it's all well documented, they just don't understand it. I'm afraid that I may be in an in-patient mental facility within a few days due to the choices of the pharmacies in this area, which are not rational. And I'm working, so this is not a good moment to have a mental collapse due to lack of sleep.

I also had physical problems from such sustained insomnia in the past and became anorexically thin, had a lot of my bodily functions stop working well, like my blood sugar and heart rate, and had to be on IV's for it. I also developed tremors and other, similar muscular problems, as well as extreme and constant terror that was barely managed by anti-anxiety medication.

I don't know what to do or where to turn. I have been told I am a "medical mystery," but I am not receiving consistent treatment even when I follow every rule laid forth to me. Again, I don't abuse my medication or fill them early, ever. Can anyone relate? I basically had total insomnia for almost a year with just occasional sleep before this. I don't know why it would be different now. And I know I cannot sleep without medication. But as of tonight, I am out of it, and I cannot go anywhere for help as I wouldn't know where to go. Plus, I have a heavy work week, and my entire family rely on my income.